The Big Gay Sketch Show Season 3 Episode 6

Leslie: Hi, everyone. I'm America's favorite lifestyle guru and sufferer of chronic O.C.D. and severe paranoia, Leslie Mead, and welcome to this week's episode of "Leslie's House." On today's show, I'm gonna teach you how to make a delicious garden salad, if I can ever stop washing the lettuce, and until then, I am stuck at the top of the stairs and worried that they may possibly and without warning turn into a slide.

Maya Angelou: Hello, I'm Maya Angelou - mother, sister, Oprah's homegirl.

Today's passage is dated, September 28th, from the "Missed Connections" section of Craigslist. It reads:

"Saw you on the 1 train last night. You weren't alone. I wished you were. I followed you home. Look out your window. Hello."

Ann Coulter: Coverbabe... because every woman deserves the best. Except for single mothers. And dykes. And poor people. Also Muslims.

Ann Coulter: Hi, I'm Ann Coulter. And while I'm devoted to being a polarizing provocateur on talks show, I also have a face like a horse. That's why I use Coverbabe simpy ageless under-eye true conceal. Every morning, I wake up looking like the lead in that queerbait Equus play, but with Coverbabe concealer, I'm camera-ready and I feel like "My Pretty Pony."

Suze Orman: Just remember: people first and then money, and then...
(Suze listens in as she holds her earpiece)
What? What's that? Oh. Oh! Well, it's official. I make too much money to be a lesbian.
(laughs)
I am now... yes, I am now officially a rich, white man. But, hopefully, I'll get to be a rich, white, gay man so I'll get to keep my mystic tan and my frosty tips.