The Big Gay Sketch Show

Season 1 Episode 3

Episode 3

0
Aired Tuesday 10:00 PM May 08, 2007 on LOGO
7.8
out of 10
User Rating
6 votes
1

EPISODE REVIEWS
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Episode Summary

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LOGO at Nite presents All in the Family, a gay parody with Archie (McGovern) and Eddie (Serrato) Bunker, their daughter Gloria (McKinnon) and "the Tofuhead", Michelle (Goldman); a lesbian (Goldman) "gets off" in her own special way by calling 1-900-LADY and talking with her version of a "fantasy female" (Ash); Hazel (Serrato), the PFLAG mom, tries to get her son Donovan a date with a waiter (Guarino) she meets in a restaurant; Afromations with Lamont Willis-Church (Flynn); Lorna (Paone) throws a tirade at the nail salon while waiting for her manicure; Lesbian Musical Duo "Sappho's Lips (McKinnon, Goldman)."moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • Another funny and hilarious episode! The All in the family Parody was very funny! Archie and Eddie with Gloria and 'Meathead'(is all we got, so i'm assummin its mike). This house repulses straights Like Carol O'Connors character did to black people on themoreless

    10
    original "All in the family". that is until they learn that their next door neighbors are a straight 'black' couple then, Archie(in this version) adores them. The Ladyline Hotline made me laugh especially when the lady calling in(Julie Goldman) gets so hot to the point she repeats "Home Depot!-Home Depot!-Home Depot!" 3 times like that. and the way she gets hot is the ladyline worker would say offensive things. here she is, Hazel. (LOGO should give Michael Serrato his own show portraying 'Hazel' with Julie Goldman as Ron! i am telling you this character is that funny, that awesome, and that cool!) this PFLAG mom is at a fancy restaraunt with her husband Ron(Julie Goldman) ,in their first appearances, who says but maybe 2 or 3 words. Hazel starts talking to the waiter then asks a personal question out of the blue Are you gay to which Ron propmtly says "HAZEL!". i think all in all Hazel wasn't able to secure a date with the waiter for her son Donovan. Afromations run throughout the episode with Lamont(Dion Flynn) and with his interruprive wife. Lorna(in her first appearance) is waiting at a nail salon crankier than ever. about having to wait to get her nails done, then a man getting called in for his nails ,before her, having no Lorna Doones and then gripping out her fellow patient for offering a 'cookie' when it was really a Lorna Doone. the soft melt in your mouth buttery sensation as described by Lorna girl. Then there is the lesbian Musician Duo Sappho's Lips. portrayed by Kate McKinnon and Julie Goldman, Kayuga Lake and Pepperstein Whalesong(first appearances),respectfully, sing at a concert(i forget what it was for) dressed in what looks to be 80's clothes ,still it was comedic.moreless
Stephen Guarino

Stephen Guarino

Various Characters

Kate McKinnon

Kate McKinnon

Various Characters

Michael Serrato

Michael Serrato

Various Characters

Nicol Paone

Nicol Paone

Various Characters

Dion Flynn

Dion Flynn

Various Characters

Julie Goldman

Julie Goldman

Various Characters

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (11)

    • Manicurist: Can I get you a cookie or a cup of coffee or something?
      Lorna: You got any Lorna Doones?
      Manicurist: What's a Laura Dern?
      Lorna: It's not a Laura Dern, it's a Lorna Doone! Laura Dern is no biscuit. It's like I'm talking Chinese in a Hebrew school with you people!

    • Lorna: It's like the gays got together and had a meeting and decided to make my day difficult. I guess it's no cozies for me 'cause Captain Faggy Hands needs a filing. God forbid, he should put down the rainbow so the rest of us can groom.
      Customer: He's not necessarily gay.
      Lorna: Well then, what the "H" is he then? First, he's having sex on trains, then he's a homosexual and now he's something else. I mean, "F" me for getting in line behind a shape-shifter.

    • Lorna: And what kind of a guy gets a manicure anyway?
      Customer: He's just metrosexual.
      Lorna: Metrosexual? What does the Metro train have to do with sexuality? I can't be late just 'cause some subway humper's got a hang nail.

    • Lorna: Ugh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna crash. I need some sugar or something.
      Customer: I have a cookie. Do you want a cookie?
      Lorna: A cookie. My God, no! That's too much sugar. Slow down, Willy Wonka, I'm only one woman.
      Customer: I was just trying to help.
      Lorna: Lorna Doones?
      Customer: Hmm?
      Lorna: You just shoved a Lorna Doone in your mouth. Well, I love Lorna Doones. If you would have said you had Lorna Doones, I would have said, "yes." Now what do we do?
      Customer: I asked if you wanted a cookie.
      Lorna: A Lorna Doone is not a cookie. It's a low-sugary, buttery taste festival. I'm over here having my own personal Holocaust and you're shoving Lorna Doones in your mouth.

    • Manicurist: Um, David Ruben. We have you down for trim and manicure.
      Lorna: Well, what the "F" was that? Did she just say he was getting a manicure?
      Customer: A lot of men get manicures.
      Lorna: Oh, sweet Mary of the Ages! Well, why would I know that men get manicures, 'cause we live in Crazyland, U.S.A.? Ugh, welcome to Crazyland. While you're here watch a giraffe write a concerto.

    • Lorna: Hello? Ding, ding, ding, ding, hello!
      (Lorna rings bell)
      What is this just a fun bell? Is this just a bell for fun? Boy, this really chaps my "A", I'll tell you that much. I've been waitin' for an eternity. Like a fat girl for a phone call, I've been waitin'.

    • Hazel: What do you say? Is it a date?
      Mark: Uh, sure.
      (Hazel giggles excitedly)
      Hazel: This calls for a celebration!
      Mark: Well, how about I get a dessert menu?
      Hazel: That's a great idea! Oh, one more thing Mark. Don't forget to bring a condom because our Donovan is not into horsebacking.

    • Hazel: Of course, Donovan didn't have to come out of the closet with us on account of when he was in the tenth grade we found a magazine in his book bag. What was the magazine called, Ron?
      Ron: Inches.
      Hazel: Inches!

    • Hazel: You are so good looking. Are you an actor, Mark?
      Ron: Hazel!
      Hazel: Well, lots of waiters are actors, Ron!
      Mark: Actually, yes, I am an actor.
      Hazel: I knew it! Our son, Donovan, is in the show business too. Maybe you know him? He works at the Disneyland Channel. Oh yeah, he's big. He's in charge of ordering all of their office supplies.

    • Eddie: I had just moved to New York to become a female impersonator. Drag wasn't accepted the way is is now what with your RuPaul and your Star Jones.
      Michelle: She isn't a drag queen, Ma.
      Eddie: Oh! I thought she had a gay wedding.

    • (Sung to the tune of "Those Were the Days")
      Archie: Boy, the way Sylvester played.
      Eddie: Songs that made the Gay Parade.
      Archie: Ways like us we had it made.
      Archie & Eddie: Those were the gays.
      Eddie: And you knew who you were then.
      Archie: Men were girls and girls were men.
      Archie & Eddie: Mister, we could use a man like Harvey Milk again.
      Archie: Didn't need no condoms then.
      Eddie: 54 was always in.
      Archie: Nobody went to the gym.
      Archie & Eddie: Those were the gays.

  • NOTES (1)

    • Recurring sketches:
      "LOGO at Nite presents... " (third appearance)
      "Hazel, the PFLAG mom" (first appearance)
      "Lorna Doones" (first appearance)
      "Sappho's Lips featuring Pepperstein Whalesong and Cayuga Lake" (first appearance)

  • ALLUSIONS (0)

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