The Big Gay Sketch Show

Season 1 Episode 6

Episode 6

0
Aired Tuesday 10:00 PM Jun 12, 2007 on LOGO
8.9
out of 10
User Rating
5 votes
1

EPISODE REVIEWS
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Episode Summary

EDIT
Tyra Banks (Ash) repeatedly stretches out the final reveal of who will become... America's Next Top Model; Gay Werewolf (McGovern) at a wedding; Phillip and Max (Serrato, McGovern), lovers and owners of Mantiques, an antique shop fight in front of two customers while trying to make a sale; Fitzwilliam (McKinnon) continues searching for his "perfect accessory" (i.e, vagina) at the American Girl Place store; Pirate Captain Swaggert (McGovern) and his horny male crew hijack an Olivia Cruise lesbian ship; '50s education film strip for homosexuals on how to stay "Slim, Trim and Peppy" (that is, using crystal methamphetamine).moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • This was a special episode as it was the Season Finale, and we do not know when the 2nd season will premiere. AMNT finalist round. The Gay Werewolf is back. This time, he has a fiance and is at his friends wedding. His date points out themoreless

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    'lovely full moon', and wishes they will have it at their wedding. He slowly turns into the Gay Werewolf, and attempts to give the best man speech while avoiding werewolf moments. This time when he calls home we figure ut where he gets the werewolf gene, his father who is 'also gay at this time of month'. He wakes up in a chair, at a tattoo parlor, the second before his butt is tattooed. 'Hello, Welcome to "A Touch of Whimsy" fine collectables and Mantiques' is what the owner of this-collectables and Mantiques shop, with his 12 1/2 year partner, says as customers come in during their heated fight. they eventually make up though and brake more collectables as they are kissing up against a table. Fitzwilliam, after travelling to america with his father, finds an "American Girl" store and asks for that 'perfect accessory' he's been looking for, the Vagina He walks away while his dad talks to the cashier. A missing childs alert comes on the intercom of American Girl. Fitzwilliam almost says that his name is fitzwilliam but then stops himself halfway and says Marjorie. the worker then asks, and what are you missing to which he responds saying, my Vagina On an Olivia Cruise Ship 2 Lesbian couples are playing golf, when Cap'n Jack Sparrow and 2 ofhis helpers go on-board to find gold and lads. to their suprise there isn't any. Pam Tinsley, one of the ladies, says that there are not any lads on-board because it is an all-Lesbian Cruise Ship. they reverse everything on the 3 pirates and end u making him walk a plank(we can guess) while making one out of the ships wooded baracade. Slim, Trim and Peppy, a video slideshow of gays in the 50's, show us how it is like to live like gay homosexual men in a relationship in 1953. They have the single & lonely, slightly overweight, female friend living next door and the diet regimen all going for them. The diet regimen is Crystal Methamphetamines, which explained by Barbara Baller, the pharmacisits, is also known as Ice, Crank, Tina, Party Favor, Hillbilly Crack, Jibiddy Nugget, and Ratchet Jaw. They also say they want Lithium Salt & Battery Acid, and that it is perfectly safe, even after losing a few more teeth. Betty asks Barbara if Crystal Methamphetamines is safe and she says 'of course you idiot'. they end with saying unprotected sex is safe('53) and betty wishing she was a Homosexual so she could be Slim, Trim, and Peppy. She then notices the narrater who is saying one last thing then when he's done she blurts out with a smile 'Who the f*c* let you in here?'. The Season Finale End. Can not wait until Season 2 Premieres! :)moreless
Stephen Guarino

Stephen Guarino

Various Characters

Kate McKinnon

Kate McKinnon

Various Characters

Michael Serrato

Michael Serrato

Various Characters

Nicol Paone

Nicol Paone

Various Characters

Dion Flynn

Dion Flynn

Various Characters

Julie Goldman

Julie Goldman

Various Characters

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

FILTER BY TYPE

  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (12)

    • Mrs. Baller: So, what brings you homosexuals in today?
      Duke: We need crystal methamphetamine with all the fixings.
      Mrs. Baller: You know, Betty, these fellas cook up the best speed in all of Marysville County.
      Betty: Speed? I thought they were getting crystal methamphetamine.
      Mrs. Baller: (laughs) You idiot! Crystal methamphetamine is speed. It's also known as: Ice, Crank, Tina, Party Favor, Hillybilly Crack, Jibbidy Nugget and Rachet Jaw.

    • Narrator: That's Betty. She's something else every modern homosexual needs - a single woman living next door with no life of her own.
      Buzz: We're going shopping for crystal methamphetamine. Want to tag along?
      Betty: Sounds better than sitting in my tub, eating Crisco out of a can, praying one of you will love me.

    • Captain Swaggert: Ye be no woman! Tell it straight, or meet the bottom of Davy Jones' locker!
      Pam: I assure you, I am a woman.
      Diane: She's all woman.
      Pam: Babe, the more you try and help, the more I think about Amy.
      Captain Swaggert: Methinks these "lesbians" have just maybe not found the right man, heya, swabs? (laughs heartily)
      Pam: There is no right man, Captain Swaggert.
      Captain Swaggert: Aye for certain it's just a phase.
      Pam: Yeah, I don't think so.

    • Pirate: Cap'n, there's not a man on board, not a soul.
      Captain Swaggert: No men? Pam Tinsely here be the only man?
      Pirate: Cap'n, methinks that she, too, be a breast-dangler, sir.
      Pam: This is what I am trying to tell you. We are lesbians, women who sleep with women.
      Lesbian: We fall in love with the person, not what's in between a person's legs. Souls find souls, Captain Swaggert.

    • Captain Swaggert: Aargh, me mateys! Ha ha! Methinks we've hit the mother lode! Detain the men and bring up every last lass to the deck and tie them up starboard. Methinks it's time for a bit of a party, eh, lads?
      Pam: Uh... excuse me, Pam Tinsley, here, this is my girlfriend, Diane. Can we help you with something?
      Captain Swaggert: Methinks you and your bonny lass should steer clear of me hearties here. We've come for gold and a right batch of saucy wenches. (laughs evilly)
      Lesbian Tracy: Well, when you find them, send them my way.

    • Fitzwilliam's Father: Oh, Good Heavens, where has he run off to now?
      (over the intercom)
      Store Employee: Attention American Girl Place shoppers! We have a missing child. What's your name, dear?
      Fitzwilliam: Fitzwi... my name is Marjorie.
      Store Employee: And you're missing what now?
      Fitzwilliam: My vagina.

    • Fitzwilliam's Father: I hope Fitzwilliam hasn't been a bother.
      Salesclerk: Uh... well, he seems intent on buying...
      Fitzwilliam: A vagina!
      Fitzwilliam's Father: Fitzwilliam, I've told you repeatedly that little boys should not have... one of those.
      Fitzwilliam: But Father, it's all I've ever wanted!
      Salesclerk: Have you tried asking the boy's mother to explain it to him?
      Fitzwilliam: Oh, Mummy left us ages ago. She said Father was crushing her soul and she'd only ever married him for his fortune, which is now dwindling due to England's oppressive tax structure. So, she moved to Marrakech with a swarthy man who feeds her apricots and keeps a lynx as a pet.

    • Tyra Banks: Lorelei, some of the judges feel that you have the potential to become "America's Next Top Model." But there are other judges, judges who are not those judges, who don't... think so.
      So Endive, i'm sorry to tell you, some of the judges don't want you here. But there are other judges, possibly more, possibly not, who do... want you to stay... in the show... called America's Next Top Model.
      Announcer: Cooming up, who will survive into the next round of Tyra's elimination speech? Don't go away.

    • Frank's Dad: Hey, son! Are there any hotties at the party?
      Frank/Gay Werewolf: I made it with a hot waiter.
      Frank's Dad: How was his bod?
      Frank/Gay Werewolf: Totally Gyllenhaal!
      Frank's Dad: That's-a my boy!

    • Frank: Oh, Nina, it's happening again! Nina, there's something I need to tell you. Once a month, when the moon is full, I turn into... a gay werewolf.
      (Frank morphs into Gay Werewolf)
      Your lack of a penis makes you invisible to me!

    • Max: Do you collect porcelain-alia?
      Customer: Well, we're just starting out.
      Max: Oh, it's a very enjoyable hobby. Just don't get too attached to your precious teacups. You could end up caring more about them than you do your own lover!
      Phillip: Then again, teacups don't make out with your best friend.
      Max: It was my birthday! I was drunk!
      Phillip: Teacups don't leave your mother in Prague.
      Max: I told here, "It's a fast connection, Gladys. DO NOT WEAR HEELS!"
      Phillip: Teacups don't get fat.
      Max (crying): That's because teacups don't have a slow metabolism.

    • Nina: Honey, are you okay?
      Frank: Nina, you got to get me out of here.
      Nina: No, no. Look, here comes the bride.
      (Frank turns into the Gay Werewolf)
      Gay Werewolf: More like here comes the wide! Hey, Payless, we can see your cheap shoes even if you can't!

  • NOTES (1)

  • ALLUSIONS (1)

    • Pirates of the Caribbean

      The pirate, Captain Swaggert (Jonny McGovern), bears a strong resemblance to Captain Jack Sparrow, the lead character played by Johnny Depp in Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean film series.

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