The Bill Engvall Show

Season 2 Episode 1

But That's Not Fair

Aired Saturday 9:00 PM Jun 12, 2008 on TBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • (Bill takes a taste of something cooking on the stove)
      Bill: Oh, jeez that's hot!!
      Susan: And just so you're not surprised later, the things in the freezer are cold.

    • Bill: Notice anything about the table, Lauren?
      Lauren: We both know that this will go a lot faster if you just tell me.

    • Susan: And Trent, when was the last time you cleaned your room?
      Trent: I would say………..
      Bill: You would say what?
      Trent : What?

    • Lauren: Can we just get a maid?
      Trent: That's a good one. (Laughing) What would mom do?

    • (Bill discussing his antenna extension sticker)
      Bill: Maybe the sticker has to boot up or something.
      Susan: Yeah, that's how technology works, Bill.

    • (Susan and Bill discussing her new cell phone)
      Bill: What were you wearing?
      Susan: Just a smile.
      Bill: Yeah…And how far down was that smile unbuttoned?

    • (About cleaning the garage)
      Lauren: It's a beautiful day outside; I could be in the mall.

    • (Talking to the manager at the cell phone shop who has been less than helpful)
      Bill: Can I ask you something?
      Manager: Yes, Sir.
      Bill: How many times a day do you get punched? (Bill walks away)

    • (To Bryan as he keeps bringing up facts)
      Bill: Zip it, Encyclopedia Brown.

    • Lauren: No cell phone, that means no texting, how am I gonna talk to people?
      Susan: How about face to face?
      Lauren: Sure, turn me into some kind of freak.

    • Lauren: If I don't text someone soon, the phone company is going to know something is wrong and send the police.

    • Trent: I've been alone with my thoughts all night. (Has a scared look of his face) You know what it is like in here. (Points to his brain)

  • Notes

  • Allusions