The Bill Engvall Show

Season 1 Episode 5

Feel Free to Say No

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Aired Saturday 9:00 PM Aug 14, 2007 on TBS
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Feel Free to Say No
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Bill and Susan have many issues on to address in their home. Trent is having trouble in school, Bryan's pet snake got loose and Lauren got into a car accident.

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (8)

      • Bill: You want to argue about this, then let's argue naked.

      • (Both standing arguing naked)
        Bill: Nope, I'm standing firm.
        Susan: (Looking down) Yeah, not bad for 45.

      • (Lauren walks into her parents' bedroom and finds them both naked and slams the door)
        Susan: Daddy and I were just arguing.
        Lauren: we haven't even had dinner yet.

      • Bill: If you rear end some one it's your fault.
        Lauren: I was just driving along and all of a sudden some idiot in front of me STOPS. What else can I do?
        Bill: At any point, did you notice red lights lighting up on the car in front of you?
        Lauren: (Thinks about it) No.
        Bill: Well, there you go; you got look out for those things.

      • (Sitting down for dinner)
        Bill: Trent, would you like to say grace?
        Trent: All right, let's bow our heads……Good bread good meat….
        Lauren: (Interrupting) Why do you continue to think that's funny?
        Trent: Good God let's eat.
        Bill: No, no, no. Bryan, please.
        Bryan: Dear God, assuming you actually exist, please don't let our vegetables be genetically altered….(Lauren slaps her hand to her head in disgust)
        Susan: (Interrupting) Thanks you Lord for the food which we are about to quickly eat. Amen.

      • Bill: (To Trent's English teacher) Did you enjoy reading Jane Austin?
        Mr. Pratt: I enjoyed all of her works.
        Bill: Well, that's just gay.
        (Susan slaps Bill on the leg)
        Bill: I'm sorry; I just meant to think that.

      • Lauren: Why did you guys choose to have children after me?
        Susan: We were young....and stupid.

      • Bill: (About the children) You want to make another couple of those?
        Susan: Absolutely not!
        Bill: Then let's just practice.

    • NOTES (2)

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