The Bill Engvall Show

Season 1 Episode 5

Feel Free to Say No

Aired Saturday 9:00 PM Aug 14, 2007 on TBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Bill: You want to argue about this, then let's argue naked.

    • (Both standing arguing naked)
      Bill: Nope, I'm standing firm.
      Susan: (Looking down) Yeah, not bad for 45.

    • (Lauren walks into her parents' bedroom and finds them both naked and slams the door)
      Susan: Daddy and I were just arguing.
      Lauren: we haven't even had dinner yet.

    • Bill: If you rear end some one it's your fault.
      Lauren: I was just driving along and all of a sudden some idiot in front of me STOPS. What else can I do?
      Bill: At any point, did you notice red lights lighting up on the car in front of you?
      Lauren: (Thinks about it) No.
      Bill: Well, there you go; you got look out for those things.

    • (Sitting down for dinner)
      Bill: Trent, would you like to say grace?
      Trent: All right, let's bow our heads……Good bread good meat….
      Lauren: (Interrupting) Why do you continue to think that's funny?
      Trent: Good God let's eat.
      Bill: No, no, no. Bryan, please.
      Bryan: Dear God, assuming you actually exist, please don't let our vegetables be genetically altered….(Lauren slaps her hand to her head in disgust)
      Susan: (Interrupting) Thanks you Lord for the food which we are about to quickly eat. Amen.

    • Bill: (To Trent's English teacher) Did you enjoy reading Jane Austin?
      Mr. Pratt: I enjoyed all of her works.
      Bill: Well, that's just gay.
      (Susan slaps Bill on the leg)
      Bill: I'm sorry; I just meant to think that.

    • Lauren: Why did you guys choose to have children after me?
      Susan: We were young....and stupid.

    • Bill: (About the children) You want to make another couple of those?
      Susan: Absolutely not!
      Bill: Then let's just practice.

  • Notes

  • Allusions