The Bill Engvall Show

Season 3 Episode 3

Let it Go

Aired Saturday 9:00 PM Jul 25, 2009 on TBS

Episode Recap

Trent is in the kitchen when Bill comes down and finds him sending a text. Bill's phone beeps and it is the text from Trent asking to be woken up in the morning. Bill tries to convince him that he should just talk to him, but fails. Trent wants to know if he is going to wake him up in the morning and Bill says, "I'll text you". Susan comes in telling Bill he won't believe what happened at girls' night .Bill jokes that if it involved practice kissing he wants pictures. Susan states that it is not a teenage party, we ware adult women and we have adult conversations. Then she proceeds to tell Bill that Tammy's husband Scott got butt implants. It dawns on Bill that Susan may talk about him at these girl's nights and he asks her about it. She dodges the question by saying, 'Not really". Bill realizes that she is being less than honest and directly asks her, "What did you say about me"? Susan states that the group has a code, what is said in the group stays in the group. Bill points out Scott's implants and Susan responds, "His butt is no secret it is like he is smuggling melons back there". Susan leaves stating it is just friends talking. Bill yells up the stairs, "Is it about my butt, because real men have curves".

The next day, Bryan, Lauren and Trent come home from school and Bryon is upset. He is saying goodbye Yale, Berkley, Cornell. Lauren tells him to stop and Trent is curious about who the people are he is saying goodbye too. Bryon explains that there are schools he cannot longer get into. Lauren questions, 'Because you got a B on a science test"? Bryon responds it is his first B and it will stand out on his college applications. Trent asks, "College what now"? Bryon responds, "I wouldn't expect you two to understand, you both just run of the mill academic hacks. Simply average". Lauren is offended and Trent is pleased. Lauren states she does well in school, Bryon, "Please you haven't seen an A since preschool". L Um Hello, there were two A's on my report card last semester". B "Yeah, the ones in Lauren and Pearson, assuming you spelled Pearson right". Lauren gets a smirk on her face and walks over to Bryan, stating that the B is just the beginning. She tells Bryan that all Pearson men start out smart and at about age 12, their brains go soft. She explains that it happened with Trent and now him, right on schedule. Bryan smirks at her, "You expect me to believe some lame theory of brain degeneration. Lauren answers, "No because it's science which you got a B in". Trent hollers from the living to check it out. He has put cheese puffs between his toes and states 'Cheetoes". Lauren looks at Bryan and states, "Let's just hope you don't get it that bad."

Bill is in the garage and Paul comes in. Paul explains that he has a question for Bill that has been "haunting him all day" He asks if there is a difference between a marament and a marmoset? Bill is a little surprised and states, "This is what haunts you?" Bill asks hwy and Paul notes that he made either one bad online purchase or several. Bill asks if he can ask his question now. Bill tells Paul that Susan said something about him to her girlfriends last night and she won't tell him what it was. Paul states that wives get together for one reason to complaint about their husbands. Bill questions, "What could Susan have to complain about"? Paul answers with, "too much ketchup on your French fries, you have a Taylor Swift ring tone and you won't share clothes". Bill responds with ketchup is the whole point, that girl can sing and you would stretch my clothes out. Paul states" I would stretch your clothes out, dude have you looked in a mirror lately." Paul states that Susan must be hiding something big and bill asks like what. Paul asks if Susan would tell him if she was having an affair with their pool guy. Bill reminds Paul that they don't have a pool. Paul states, "Well, if you did, now you know that she wouldn't tell you" Paul booms Bill twice. Bill tells Paul, "I worry about you out there alone". He states that you can't have any secrets in a marriage. Bill asks why he didn't just say that. Paul states" If I have to explain ever boom then the boom becomes boomless". Bill responds with, "If we had a pool I would throw you in it right now."

In the kitchen Lauren in putting red stickers on the yellow blocks of Bryan's Rubik's Cube. Trent asks her what she is doing and she states she is fixing it. She then sees Bryan's backpack on the chair and tosses out the door. Bryan comes downstairs and Lauren acts if nothing it going on. Bryan asks where his backpack is and Lauren states she has not seen it. She states forgetfulness is the first sign of getting dumber. She grabs a piece of paper of the table and tells him it is Trent's report card from the 6th grade. Bryan looks at it and is surprised that Trent has all A's. Bryan is unconvinced so Lauren gives him his Rubik's cube, reminding he has been able to solve it since he was 6 with a record of 15 seconds. Bryon is unable to solve it. Lauren begins taunting him, "Should we start with something more basic, what does the cow say?" Bryan realizing he is not able to solve the Rubik's Cube screams," NOOOOO!!" Lauren continues to taunt him, "Oooh, so close".

Susan is in bed reading and Bill asks that they are always honest with each other. He asks her what she told her friends. She is surprised that he is still on this. He is persistence even though she tells him it is better that they do not discuss it. Finally, Susan gives in and tells Bill that she shared that he has a hard time letting things go. Bill is relived at first and then "What do you mean I can't let things go, like when"? Susan responds with "You mean aside from this entire conversation?" Bill disagrees with her and thinks her friends will be thinking about it ever time they see him. He states she should not have told her friends and states he does not go to his friends and talk about all the things that she does that annoys him. Susan asks like what and Bill states that she does not close kitchen cabinets, or screw on lids tight and the way she gargles, uhgh. Susan questions," What's wrong with the way I gargle?" Trent walks by and Bill calls him in. Bill demonstrates a gargle and asks Trent, "Who am I?" Trent answers Chewbacca". Bill states, "Somebody real. Trent states, "Oh, Mom". Susan asks if there is anything else and Bill says nope. They roll over and turn the lights off and Susan states, "You have got to be kidding me".

The next morning, Susan is in the kitchen making breakfast when Bill comes down. She is still obviously upset and Bill tries to lighten things up. He even apologizes and Susan is grabbing at jars and twisting lids. Bill asks what she is doing and she states that she has been told she does screw lids on tight. She goes to put the jar in the cupboard, "Oh don't worry I am gonna close this when I'm done" and slams the door. Bill states he knows he went overboard and says he is sorry. Then Bill comes up with the idea that she needs to come up with things the he does that annoys her, even the score. He states that they need to talk about the little things that bug each of them so that they don't become big things. Susan agrees and starts writing down things that Bill does. He is watching over her shoulder and states, "Oh I don't do that" and Susan responds with, "All the time". Bill gets upset as Susan continues to list more things and states he only said three things. He then decides to make his own list and they will read their lists to each other tonight. Susan agrees and she goes upstairs.

Bryon comes downstairs and asks to talk with Bill. Bryon talks about going through some changes lately. Bill assumes that he is talking about puberty and sits him down to have the talk. He starts with I've been meaning to have this talk with you, continues with this is completely normal and ends with you are becoming a Pearson man". Bryon is freaking out asking if his grades will go down and bill states, "I wouldn't be surprised, your gonna find it harder to concentrate, but if Trent can get through it so can you". Bill turns his head toward a strange sound coming from upstairs, Susan gargling and responds, "Louder Chewy, the neighbor's can't hear you".

Later in the garage, Paul stops by and Bill fills him in on what is going on. Paul asks if the secret was how Bill thinks he is a dead ringer for Kevin Costner and then refers to bill as Dances with Donuts. Bill then refers to Paul as Talks from Ass stating that Susan thinks he has a hard time letting things go. Paul agrees with Susan stating that bill still has not forgiven for borrowing his car and driving to Vegas. Bill states that is because you left it there. Paul asks Bill what he is doing and he states that he is a list of all of Susan's faults. He shares that he is going to read them to her later. Paul states, "You know if you want a kick in the groin just ask me". Bill then shares his list with Paul and Paul shares what would have been on his list with his ex wife. Some of those things included that his ex punched his mother and tricked him into taking a bubble bath with another man. Bill states that he stayed in that marriage too long. Paul states that he stayed in that bubble bath a lot longer than he should have.

Susan is working in the kitchen and sees Bryan throwing away his microscope, calculator and other things. She asks why and he explains he throwing away painful reminders of his intelligent past and he won't know how to use them much longer. Susan asks what is going on and Bryan explains his brain degeneration and Lauren told him all about it. Susan yells for Lauren and explains that it not true. She questions Lauren about if she told her brother this and he response was, "You mean the boy who wears a helmet to walk the dog?" Bryan yells at her that safety's not stupid. Lauren tells him that it is a clear invitation for people to throw rocks at you. Susan gets her to admit that she made it up and that she tampered with his Rubik's Cube & forged the report card for Trent. Susan makes Lauren apologize and when she walks away, Bryan states, "I knew I wasn't getting dumber". L responds with, "Maybe not, but you should ask yourself would you have fallen for this three days ago" and she walks away.

Later that night, Bill and Susan meet in their bedroom to discuss their lists. Bill tries to talk for a moment and Susan interrupts with "I go first then you can do a few" Susan starts by stating the she divided it in to categories and subheadings. She begins and names places she finds his hair, sink tub toilet and ears", and continues with putting the toaster on darker doesn't mean it will get done faster, stating, "It's a timer goober, not a thermostat." Bill stops her and reads his list, she lets me sleeps, fills my coffee cup and plans & makes every meal. Susan interrupts asking what is he doing and stating it is not her fault if he didn't understand the rules. Bill explains that he was talking to Paul and that after venting to him he felt better. And that he realized he did not have that much to complain about after all. Susan compares him to talking to Paul to her talking with her friends. Bill states it is different and when Susan asks, "Why". And he responds, "I am not ready to admit I was wrong yet". They make up and agree that total communication is not always healthy and talking with their friends can be useful.