The Bill Engvall Show

Season 3 Episode 4

The Way We Were

0
Aired Saturday 9:00 PM Aug 01, 2009 on TBS

Episode Recap

Susan and Bill come home from their night out discussing a young couple they went out with, Kurt and Cynthia. Susan reminisces about their dating days, asking what happened. Bill states that they are still great and that they have been together for twenty year through childbirth and medical issues. She states that she misses that feeling that you have when you are first in love. Bill replies, "I miss nickel beer night and John Elway, but they ain't coming back either". Susan gets mad because she is trying to have a serious conversation and he is making jokes. Bill states that he did not know they were having a serious conversation. Susan walks into the bathroom and shuts the door, Bill yells through the door that she need to tell him so he can act as if he cares and then states, "That came out wrong".



The next day, Bill is in the garage as Paul walks in. Bill asks him which flower, roses or derails he should get for Susan. Paul asks him what he did and he explains that he made fun of her. They discuss the problem and Paul suggests the he try to make his relationship is exciting. He suggests flying Susan to Paris, not the really one, the one in Vegas, where the food is better. Bill tells Paul he should donate his brain to science so they can find a cure for whatever that is(pointing to his brain). Bill decides he needs to try and find a way to make him & Susan they way they use to be. He admits he has no idea how to do that and Paul states that Bill is confused and motivated.



Later in the kitchen, Bill tells Susan that he is taking her on a date Saturday night. Lauren is watching from the living room and states "awe, it is so sweet to the geriatric set try and have fun". Bill hears her and states that he needs one of them (Lauren or Trent) to watch Bryan. They both state that they have plans, Trent with Kate Miller for a first date and Lauren with Will on a second date. They discuss why second dates are more important than first dates. Bill tells them that his date with their mother is the most important. They both state that they are going to the movies and Bill suggests that they go to the same movie and take Bryan. They are not pleased and Bill states "Or you can both stay home". Lauren looks at Trent, "7:30 show?" Trent agrees and they leave. Susan asks what the plan is and Bill explains that they are going to have a night of Best of moments from their dating days. She asks if they are going up in a hot air balloon and bill states no. She asks if they are going river rafting and Bill states no. She starts to guess another activity and Bill asks her, "Can you please stop guessing expensive stuff that requires advanced planning"? She decides to be surprised and leaves. Someone knocks and Bill answers the back door, it is Mr. Faulkner. He is there on neighborhood watch issues and is reporting that there has been suspicious activity going on. He states houses are being T-P-ed and cars being egged. Bill asked if he notified Homeland Security and Mr., Faulkner replies, "They don't take my calls anymore". Bill thanks him and he states he wants to interrogate one of the kids. Bill asks which one and he responds with, "Which ever one wants talk to me while he mows my lawn". Bill says goodbye and shuts the door.



It's Saturday night and Bill and Susan have arrived at their first location. Bill explains that are at the little dive bar where they had their first kiss, McSweenies. She remembers the Bill showed her how to hold the pool cue and she beat him. He explains he let her win so he could kiss her. He tells her to take her wedding ring off because tonight they are two young people in love. As they walk up to the bar, it has changed. It is now known as 'Apostrophe' and there is a long line waiting to get in. Bill and Susan try to talk their way in, to no avail. Bill tries to buy his way and is told that they are at capacity and then he lets in to pretty girls. At the back of the line, many young men at telling Susan that she is a cougar and she is asking what that means. Bill shows up and Susan states that they have been invited to an after party, but the guys explain just her not the older guy. They point out she is not wearing a ring and begin chanting "Cougar". Bill grabs Susan and states let's go. She states that they did not get to relive their first kiss, so Bill grabs her and kisses her and they leave.



At the movies, Lauren, Trent and Bryan enter and Bryan is excited to be going to the movies with them. Bryan starts analyzing the best seat in the house and they ask if right here is okay. Bryan sits down and Lauren states she will be over there with Will then Trent points to Kate and stats he will be over there. Bryan is obviously disappointed that they are not sitting with him. When he voices his concern over sitting alone, Trent point to the old lady next to him and introduces Bryan to "Somebody's Grandma".



Bill and Susan head to a restaurant and the Maitre d' states they are early. Bill explains their first kiss at the bar did not work out and then he took her for a rowboat ride. He told her he loved on Lake Howey; unfortunately, they had just drained it and sprayed it with algaecide. Now we are here because this is where Bill proposed. The Maitre d' states that it is Saturday night and there are busy. Bill gives him money and he agrees to squeeze them in. As they enter the main restaurant, the place is completely empty. They reminisce about the night and the belly dancer, Fatima. Bill asks if they still have belly dancers and he calls out "Fatima". Fatima is the same woman from so many years ago and she asks if they want touching or no touching. Bill replies with, "No touching and I am will to pay extra for that".



At the movies, Bryan goes up to Laruen to ask for popcorn and she tells him to go away. He states he needs money for it and she tells him to leave her alone. Bryan goes to Trent, who is kisses Kate and asks him. Trent acts as if he has no idea who Bryan is. Trent finally gives in and gives him money. Bryan asks a question about the movie and Trent states, "Dude I am not watching the movie" and goes back to kissing Kate.



Back at the restaurant, Susan explains that she lost her appetite after Fatima's performance. Bill states he is sorry the night has been a disaster. Susan states that the night's not over and reminds Bill of the night that they did it in the car. Bill realizes that she wants to relive that moment and hollers, "Sex please" correcting himself, "Check please".



At the movies, the movie is over and Trent & Lauren make arrangements to meet their dates outside. They both want to go home with their dates and neither wants to take Bryan. They discuss this and realize that Bryan is not there and go looking for him. Trent stats he will check the lobby and Lauren should check the men's room. Lauren questions, "Really you want me to check the men's room?" Trent responds with," He is not going to be in the ladies room". They have checked the entire movie theatre and cannot find Bryan. Trent states that maybe he ran into some friends and left with them. Lauren states that they can rule that out. They begin fighting about whose fault this is and Lauren reminds him that this is serious.



At home, Bryan walks in with Paul, thanking him for picking him up. Paul states that they need to call Trent & Lauren, but Bryan wants them to suffer. Paul asks if that day he lost Bryan at the zoo was real and Bryan states he was really lost.



Susan and Bill are out in a parking lot, in the back seat of the car at a day care center in their neighborhood. They began to kiss when a voice over a megaphone tells them to get out to the vehicle now. Susan panics and they exit the vehicle with their hands up to find Mr. Faulkner at the other end of the megaphone. He states that he was patrolling the neighborhood and that he should run them in. Bill asks exactly who does he thinks he is and Mr. Faulkner states he has a badge at home that states he is head of neighborhood watch. Mr. Faulkner questions Susan to make sure she is there of her own free will and Bill tells him good night. After Mr. Faulkner leaves, Bill asks if she wants to continue and she responses with a very sarcastic yeah, right.



At home, Trent and Lauren arrive home thanking Paul for calling. Lauren immediately attacks Bryan stating his is in trouble. Bryan calmly asks if they are talking to him, because apparently he does not exist. They continue the discussion, which escalates quickly into a yelling match. Paul tells everyone enough and then states that if anything happens to their parents, he becomes their legal guardian. Paul discusses his mother and begins acting like her. Lauren states that Bryan left the movie theatre without telling them, Paul starts scolding Bryan, who states he left because they were ignoring him .Trent points out that something could have happened to him and that they were worried about him. During the kids' conversation, Paul continues to put in his motherisms. Bryan states that they deserved it and he would do it again. He states that he wanted to go to the movies with them to spend time with them. Lauren and Trent realize that they hurt his feelings and say they are sorry. Bryan states he should not have left the theatre. Trent offers to take him to the movies again tomorrow night and to sit with him. Paul sends the kids up to bed, still acting as his mother.



Later, Susan is in bed and Bill comes out of the bathroom with a towel over the lower half of his face. Pretending to be the belly dancer, her starts dancing. Susan states, "IF you really want to sell it, you need a C-section scar". Bill climbs into bed and then they discuss the night and agree they had fun. Susan tells Bill that young love is a fleeting moment and then asks if he wants to continue with what they started in the car. Susan states that this cougar is on the prowl and bill responds with,"Do you want touching or no touching?" Susan answers, "Touching and I am willing to pay extra for it".
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