Robert "Granddad" Freeman
Huey and Riley Freeman
This episode is narrated by Riley rather than Huey.
Goof: The bandages over Gangstalicious' shoulder appear and disappear throughout the episode.
Goof: When Riley first comes into Gangstalicious' room in the hospital, the door remains open. But when the view pans out to the entire room, the door is closed.
Gangstalicious: Put on your seatbelt! It's the law, and it's a really good idea.
Riley: Wow! That's so real. The drug game.Gangstalicious: Word. That's real spin dun dun dun. It's why I tell kids like you, the drug game is cool, y'know, but in some ways it's not cool. But...but mostly it's cool.
Gangstalicious: All I'm sayin' is, know I'm saying, shit's real. Know what I'm sayin'? This shit ain't music, right. Know what I'm sayin'? This is some bona fide unimpeachable gangsta shit. Know what I'm sayin'? This is some indubitable shit nigga!
Nigga: What he said, nigga.
Nigga #1: (while loading his gun) I got this nigga now.
Nigga #2: Slow down, nigga.
(The car the niggas were in crashes into the car Gangstalicious and Riley were in. Both niggas got out and walked straight to the already damaged car)
Nigga #1: Sup now, niggas? Open the door.
(Gangstalicious presses a button with his foot causing the window to go up)
Nigga #1: Open… hey. Open the door!
Nigga #1: Nigga, if you don't open this door…
(Scene shows Riley and Gangstalicious tied up inside the trunk of a car)
Gangstalicious: (whispering to Riley) I told you this nigga was crazy.
Riley: (to Gangstalicious) Damn, nigga, you short.
Black Eyewitness: Damn, that shit was crazy, nigga. I saw everything. (cell phone rings) Hold up. (answers it) Nigga, that's me on TV, baby. Yeah, nigga, yeah. Man I ain't got your money, nigga.
Riley: Where's your gun?
Gangstalicious: I dropped it!
Riley: What? You dropped it?! Who drops a gun? That isn't gangsta! That is very un-gangsta!
Granddad: Gangstalicious got shot again? That's a shame.
Riley: Granddad, a nigga steppin' on your shoes is a shame. This is a catastrophe. This is catastrophic!
(Granddad calls Riley on his "cell phone")
Granddad: (on the phone) Where's my god damn orange juice, boy?! You hear me?! What chu doin' growin' the oranges?!
Riley: And then Gangstalicious started crying, and I'm like, "quit crying you little bitch."
Granddad: Don't go to that hospital!
Riley: (narrating) So the first thing I did was go straight to the hospital.
Granddad: The store...and back. That's it. No hospital. Take my phone, so I can reach you but don't call anyone.
Riley: Dang, Granddad! Is this a cell phone or a cordless pay phone?
Granddad: Shut up!
Riley: This thing look like a laptop!
Gangstalicious: You know who my favorite rapper was when I was your age? Ice Cube.
Riley: That dude who does family movies? He was a gangsta rapper?
Gangstalicious: He was so gangsta I used to have dreams that Ice Cube would come to my house and kill my whole family.
TV: We now return to Gangstalicious: Resurrection.
Huey: Resurrection? The nigga ain't dead!
Riley: Shh! He been shot a buncha times, aight? At least he tryin'!
Granddad: What's Thuggin' love? Is that when you're makin' love to your woman and right before that "special moment", you beat her in the head, grab her by the throat, and throw her down the stairs?
Riley: It's like going to heaven and finding god smoking crack.
Gangstalicious: Oh we gonna die.
Riley: Run nigga!
Riley: Niggas (gasp) comin'.
Riley: Gangstalicious got shot.
Riley: (describing Gangstalicious and a nigga) These niggas is still kissin'!
Nigga: (after trying to shoot Gangstalicious) Shit, we missed!
Other Nigga: I can't believe this, we suck.
Riley: Hello, I'm lookin' for Gangstalicious.
Woman: And who are you?
Riley: I'm one of his many illegitimate children.
Woman: 5th floor.
Granddad: Boy, are you stupid?
Riley: Hmm... I don't think so.
Gangstalicious: Put yo' seatbelt on. Its the law and its a good idea.
Riley: Nigga, just go faster!
Huey: I got an idea: let's all go to college so we don't end up like Gangstalicious.
Gangstalicious: I'm scared!
Riley: What happened to "I fear no man but God"?
Gangstalicious: Correction: God and the nigga that shot me!
Uncle Ruckus: (after spotting Gangstalicious and Riley)) There they are. Right… over… there.
(The three niggas ran to the sound of Ruckus's voice)
Nigga: Thanks. Now go change your pants.
Lincoln: Where's Gangstalicious?
Uncle Ruckus: Could you say that again? I couldn't hear over the sound of me shitin' myself.
Riley: A full day's supply of Vitamin C.
(Granddad hits carton out of Riley's hands)
Granddad: Boy, have you lost your mind? How are you gonna drink my orange juice out of the carton? I don't know where your nasty lips have been.
Sway: Hey, this is Sway, and this is my inexpicable headwrap.; WE interupt Gangstalicious's Resurrection for important news: Gangstalicious has been shot.
Huey & Riley: Again!?
Riley: I was so wanting info on the shootin', I watched what my brother calls "The News".
"Crazy Rap" by Afroman
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