The Boondocks

Season 1 Episode 2

The Trial of R. Kelly

Aired Sunday 11:30 PM Nov 13, 2005 on Adult Swim



  • Trivia

    • Goof: While R. Kelly's lawyer Adam West is turning on the jambox for the first time, his hand turns black and the second time he turns it on his hand is white.

    • Goof: Uncle Ruckus says that he was a jurist on a trial in Tennessee, but in the flashback, behind the judge, there is the State Seal of Mississippi.

  • Quotes

    • Juror: We find the defendant...
      Uncle Ruckus: Guilty! Hang that nigga now! (Uncle Ruckus pulls out a noose) I got the rope right here!

    • Riley: If I were to pee on you right now, would you; a.) smile and ask for more, or, b.) move the hell out the way!

    • Uncle Ruckus: You can't compare a chocolate monkey like R. Kelly to Jerry Lee Lewis. Jerry Lee Lewis was the king of rock and roll "Great Balls of Fire!" Besides that situation was different... that was family...

    • Huey: (narrating) Here's something black people have known for a couple hundred years: niggas are crazy. Now black people don't like talking about crazy niggas in public cause white people may be listening. But I'm afraid the secret might be out.

    • Granddad: Now what did O.J. Simpson say to Kobe after his trial was over?
      Uncle Ruckus: What?
      Granddad: Don't let this whole trial take your mind off the white women.
      (Uncle Ruckus and Granddad start laughing )

    • Riley: Now hold up. Remember when we used to sleep in the same bed when we was littler? From time to time I would have a little accident.
      Huey: You still do.
      Riley: SHUT UP!!!

    • Whitney Houston: Hell no, Bobby didn't hit me. See, we have a show and I wanted some extra air-time, so--
      Bobby Brown: (slaps her) It's my show, bitch!

    • Riley: Granddad, can you take us into the city tomorrow to watch the R. Kelly trial?
      Granddad: Hell no, but you can walk.
      Riley: It's 40 miles!
      Granddad: All the money I spent on them damn Nikes, you better just do it.

    • Granddad: (regarding both Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown) Ya know, I think they're on drugs.

    • Riley: (after hearing the web site for the tape) I've gotta go, uh… Check my email! Yeah.
      Granddad: (As Riley is sneaking off) Get your little short ass back here!

    • Tom: Riley, she was a little girl.
      Riley: Oh, I saw that girl. She wasn't little. I'm little. Gary Coleman's little. Mini-Me is little. And to the best of my knowledge, we all managed to avoid gettin' peed on so far!
      Tom: But what about the victim!
      Riley: Oh yes! The victim. At what point does personal resposibility become a factor in this equation? I see piss comin' I run. She saw piss comin' she stayed. And why should I miss out on the next R. Kelly album JUST fo' that?
      (walks away)
      Huey: Man, you just beat by an eight-year old.
      Riley: And if R. Kelly goes to jail, I'll piss on your cat!

    • Huey: (turns the boom box off, causing everyone who was dancing to stop) What the hell is wrong with you people? Every famous nigga that gets arrested is not Nelson Mandela! Yes, the government conspires to put a lot of innocent black men in jail on fallacious charges, but R. Kelly is NOT one of those men! We all KNOW the nigga can sing, but what happened to standards?! What happened to bare minimums?! You a fan of R. Kelly? You wanna HELP R. Kelly? Then get some COUNSELLING for R. Kelly! Introduce him to some older women! Hide his camcorder! But don't pretend like the man is a hero! (walks off) (returns) And stop the damn dancing! Act like you got some goddamn sense, people! Damn! Through playin' round here. (pause)
      Riley: Boo! Boo! Hey, kid with the Afro. Sit down. Shut up. Turn the music back on. (someone turns on the music and everyone continues dancing)

    • Sarah Dubois: I told you bout messin' with them white women.

    • Riley: If you're good, maybe Santa will give a golden shower for Christmas!
      Granddad: Christmas? My man Santa.

    • Tom: Please, people! You saw the tape! The girl testified she was underage! Y… you're not allowed… to do that! To a little girl! We have a videotape!
      Black Juror 1: Go tell that to your white bitch.
      Black Juror 2: Mm hmm!

    • Riley: (about R.Kelly's laywer) This guy's good! Do you have his card?
      (R.Kelly hands him card) Did you wash your hands?

    • Riley: Well what if I'm peein', and Huey's in the bathroom, and I accidently pee on Huey. Would I be prosecuted for that?
      Huey: What the hell would I be doin' in the bathroom while you're in the bathroom?

    • Granddad: Well how 'bout this… game.
      (walks away)
      Uncle Ruckus: Nigga.

  • Notes

  • Allusions