The Class Season 1 Episode 9

Yonk: (speaking to Duncan about Nicole) This is fantastic! It's like suddenly finding an owner's manual!

Kat: (sprays Ethan in the eyes with Pam, thinking he is Richie.) Oh! I thought you were someone else!
Ethan: Someone you didn't want to stick to a grill?!

Holly: (in a room with Perry, her father, Kyle and Aaron) Ok, fellas. Break it up! I there's a little too much testosterone in this room.

Nicole: (speaking to Yonk about his less-than-gorgeous daughter) It would help if you didn't make her feel worse about it.
Yonk: Alright, I'll stop calling her Shrek.

Holly:(to Kyle and Aaron) I'm so glad you came. I just hope, you know, it wasn't awkward for you guys, you know, being the only gay people.
Kyle: You know, it didn't feel that way.

Oprah: Are we gonna eat soon?
Perry: Hang on, sweetie. Something's still not right.
Mr. Ellenbogen: I agree.
Perry: More baby pumpkins?
Mr. Ellenbogen: Totally! And less leaves!
Perry: Genius!
Holly: Uh, honey? Is there anything we can do?
(Perry and Mr. Ellenbogen start laughing)
Ms. Ellenbogen: (to Kyle and Aaron) They never let the women do a thing! They're so old-fashioned!
Kyle: Yeah, that's what it is.

Perry: I made two different turkeys, four pies, and this sweater didn't knit itself!
Holly: (to Kyle and Aaron) He is not like the rest of us!
Kyle: (to Aaron) He's not even like the rest of us!

Fern: Richard Velch, if you walk out that door right now, I will make your life a living hell!
Richie: How will I know the difference?

Tina: Hello? Hello?
Duncan: Ma, why are you on the intercom?
Tina: I'm lost. I'm on the second floor in a room with blue wallpaper.
Duncan: Well, just stay there.
Tina: Are you coming to get me?
Duncan: No.

Richie: Um, uh, we need to talk... Uh, okay, we haven't been happy for a very very long time. We have a toxic, joyless, punishing relationship and I think the best thing would be to end it.
Fern: What?
Richie: I, um... I don't think that we should be together anymore.
Fern: You're leaving me? You miserable excuse for a human being!
Richie: We just don't seem to make each other happy.

Richie: I'm not leaving till you talk to me.
Kat: (under her breath) Oh yes, you are.
(Kat grabs a spray can, opens the door and points it at Richie)
Richie: (mortified) AH!
Kat: That's right. You get outta here or you're gonna get this right in the eyes... I swear I will PAM you!
Richie: But, I...
Kat: Go, go, go... Get the hell out!
(looks at the can of PAM)
Kat: Oh God, I had it pointed towards me!

Nicole: Penny, it's really good to see you. You know, we have to catch up.
Penny: My cat died. Work sucks. I'm hungry. Dinner's not ready. Caught up!

(Richie shows up at Lina's apartment)
Kat: Do you have any idea how bad you hurt her?
Richie: If you can just let me talk to her, I can...
Kat: No, I'm not letting you anywhere near her. You know, I never bought into any of that we're-twins, we-can-feel-each-other's-pain crap; but today, I'm feelin' it and if you don't leave right now, you're gonna be feelin' it too.

Richie: Hey.
Fern: Get out of here. I just worked a double shift and there's no way I can sleep with you breathing.

(At Yonk and Nicole's house)
Tina: Look at all the trophies!
Yonk: Yeah, there's one or two of them.
Tina: Well, where's your Heisman?
Yonk: Rec room, go nuts!
Duncan: Uh, I know she's my mom and all, but, uh, she steals.

(After Richie tells Fern they should not be together anymore)
Richie: I know this isn't easy.
Fern: No, actually, you know what? This is easy. In fact, let me help you pack. You know what? You're gonna need your shoe... (Fern throws a shoe at Richie)
Richie: Ow!
Fern: And you're gonna need your book... (Fern throws a book at Richie)
Richie: Ow! Pillows! I'll need pillows!

Duncan: I'm Duncan.
Penny: Yeah? Well you're blockin' the kitchen.

Richie: I need you. You don't know what you mean to me. It's like magnesium and water.
Lina: Sorry?
Richie: In chemistry, when magnesium is in its powder form, it's just like a-a pile of dust... A dull, gray, pathetic pile of dust; but if it happens to come in contact with water, just one single perfect little drop, they react, and it is the most intense, brilliant white hot flame. It's like a light so bright you can almost forget what darkness is.
Lina: Wow.
Richie: I love you. Is there any way you can give me another chance?
Lina: No.