The episode opens with Ethan Haas calling Lina Warbler. Lina tells Ethan she has no idea who he is. She hangs up on him then turns to her bed, where her boyfriend and another woman are. She yells at them, then we transition to Ethan's next call: Kat Warbler, Lina's sister. Kat and Ethan have a hilarious conversation where Kat's punkish attitude ultimately wins the day. Next up is Duncan Carmello, who sits on his couch playing video games. He gets a call from Ethan and immediately recognizes him. However, his mother picks up the phone and Duncan and Tina get into an argument which ends with Tina asking, out of the blue, if Duncan taped over an episode of a show "with Special Guest Star John Travolta where he dances with Kelly". Duncan says he just switched tapes.
Cut to Richie Velch, who is currently pouring a lot of pills in his hand, about to overdose and kill himself. The phone interrupts him, and he anwsers and asks Ethan when the party is.
After the opening titles, we are in a cafe where Kat and Lina are discussing how Lina's boyfriend was cheating on her in her own bed. Then, they get into conversation about how Ethan called them, which soon, somehow, leads into conversation about how Lina used to be in love with Kyle Lendo, a boy in their class. Cut to Kyle Lendo's bedroom, where he lays in bed with his boyfriend Aaron. Cut to Holly Ellenbogen's house. Holly is giving the babysitter phone numbers, then tells her daughter, Oprah, good-bye. She leaves for the party.
Ethan is greeting people at the door, while people are conversing with others. Lina is shocked when she discovers Kyle is gay, and Kat is always happy to make fun of her sister's misery. Duncan and Richie meet and talk about how Richie's life is horrible, then see Nicole, who is married to football star Yonk Allen. Turns out Duncan broke up with her and regrets it. Holly walks up to Kyle and nails him for cheating on her at the high school prom...with another boy...and Kyle apologizes. After forgiving him, Holly introduces him to her husband, who happens to fit the stereotype much more than Kyle does.
Joanne finally arrives, and ignores all the people. She takes Ethan into another room, and breaks up with him for being too extravagant. Lina argues and says she'd kill for all the things Joanne just named that Ethan's done for her. Joanne storms out, which leaves Ethan to rush after her. Kat cries out that this party is the best party ever. Later, Richie and Lina are talking and hit it off, which leads Richie to asking Lina if she wants to go get some coffee. Meanwhile, Kat goes to get everyone's coats from Ethan's room because no one wants to go in there with Ethan in the state he's in. She gets trapped in the house when Lina leaves with Richie in their car.
Meanwhile, Nicole and Duncan are talking, and just before Nicole has to leave that it's kind of hard knowing that he's not even thirty and the best thing that's ever happened to him already happened. Nicole asks Yonk if she's the best thing that's ever happened to him. Yonk assures her that she is...then begins naming off things that are better than her. Back at the house, Kat tries to comfort Ethan unsuccessfully. He explains how he thought Joanne was the one he was meant to be with. Lina and Richie, meanwhile are at the coffee house, ending their date. Lina goes back to get her hat as Richie goes to his car. He calls Lina, saying he already misses her. And then they talk on the phone, and when Richie's backing up, he accidentally hits Lina. Meanwhile, at Duncan's house, Nicole knocks on his door and kisses him. Duncan's mom Tina greets Nicole and then Duncan asks her to leave them alone for one night as the episode ends.