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Nicole Campbell Allen
Ethan: So that is a pretty sweet helicopter. Where'd you get it?
Ethan: Oh, that's nice. Is Susan your friend?
Jonah: Susan's my daddy's girlfriend.
Ethan: Uh, I don't think so, Kat is your daddy's girlfriend.
Jonah: Nuh uh!
Ethan: Yuh huh! I know her, she's a friend of mine.
Jonah: Are you going to check my throat?
Ethan: In a sec. Okay, so just to be clear, your daddy's girlfriend's name is...
Ethan: Not Kat?
Jonah: Susan has a cat.
Ethan: No, not a meow cat, a lady named Kat.
Jonah: My friend Marshall has a dog named Lady.
Ethan: Is that what I asked?
Jonah: (he holds up his helicopter) Look, the lights go on!
Ethan: Okay, we're all over the map here, so, when you say your dad's girlfriend Susan, do you mean his girl who is his friend?
Jonah: Uh huh.
Ethan: Oh, okay, so she's his friend friend. Like they do stuff together.
Jonah: Yeah, like drink wine and sleep over.
Ethan: Oh my God.
Lina: What's with all the clothes?
Nicole: Oh, they're for charity.
Lina: There's a lot.
Nicole: I'm a giver.
Lina: Even your bras?
Nicole: Well, just 'cause you're poor doesn't mean you can't look perky!
Lina: Oh, god, I love this coat!
Nicole: Yeah, I know, isn't it great!
Lina: Oh, then why are you giving it away?
Nicole: It's too warm...and plush...it's disgusting!
Lina: Well I'll take it!
Nicole: Wow, um, I'd feel funny taking it from the charity people.
Lina: Oh, okay, well I'll write them a check.
Nicole: Huh. I can't think of anything wrong with that. And I'm trying.
Lina: Great! I love shopping here! What else you got? Oh, I have to have this dress, and definitely this top.
Nicole: You can't have the top!
Nicole: You can't have the top. Or the dress. The store is closed, thanks for shopping.
Kat: (takes toothbrush from Benjamin's bathroom) You don't get any part of me.
Kat: So listen dude, there's something that I want to do that I've never done before.
Benjamin: Really, is it dirty?
Kat: Easy there Benny Hill. Alright, so I've been staying over here a lot lately, right? (Benjamin nods) And I was thinking, instead of using your toothbrush (Benjamin gives her a funny look) ... which I have never, ever done, I thought, maybe it would be okay if I left this here? (she holds up her toothbrush)
Benjamin: (sarcastically) Wow, this is big!
Kat: Shut up, okay, it's big for me. (he nods) Alright, here we go. (she walks over to the toothbrush holder) Du du du du. (she attempts to put her toothbrush in the hole) It's too big, it won't fit in the hole! Hey, turns out it is dirty!
(Yonk walks into the house)
Yonk: What in the hell happened here?
Nicole: You're home early!
Yonk: They canceled my meeting.
Nicole: How come?
Yonk: Seems the new Yonk Allen grill still has some flaws. One in every fifty blows up. One of the R&B guys lost an ear.
Nicole: Oh my God.
Yonk: That's okay, they made him a new little plastic one. Kind of looks like an apricot. You just want to pluck it off and pop it in your mouth. So what happened?
Richie: We had a little leak, but it's under control.
Yonk: Oh. Alright. Well I'm glad you boys are back, 'cause I thought Nic and I could take you out for a little goodbye lunch, you know, to thank you for all you've done.
Duncan: That is so not necessary.
Nicole: I think it's a good idea.
Duncan: Really? The idea that he just said?
Nicole: Yeah, only I can't go because I have stuff to do. But the three of you should definitely have lunch.
Duncan: You sure about that?
Nicole: Yeah, I really need to do this stuff.
Yonk: So, uh, what stuff you gotta do?
Nicole: Uh, you know, lady stuff.
Yonk: Don't want to hear nothing about that!
Richie: Yes, it is disgusting to the man who was tempted to eat another man's ear.
Duncan: Hey Rich, why don't you finish tying up that rug and put it up against the wall.
Richie: Right. You sure you don't need help with the standing around chatting? (Duncan and Nicole give him a funny look) Over the line? Okay.
(Yonk, Richie and Duncan are having dinner at a restaurant)
Yonk: I'm away on business a lot, and it can get lonely for the little lady, so I just want to tell you how much I appreciate how much you've kept her company.
Richie: It's our pleasure.
Duncan: I wouldn't say pleasure, not pleasure.
Yonk: Well, anyway, it means a lot to me. Nic's a real special girl. Of course, I don't have to tell you that.
Duncan: 'Cuz I went out with her? That was high school. That's ancient history. Now I could take or leave her... not that I'd take her. I bet Rich likes her better than I do.
Yonk: Oh really? Red, I gotta worry about you being around my wife?
Richie: What? How did that happen?
Yonk: (About Nicole; to Duncan and Richie) I treasure that girl. She is absolutely everything... (Waitress passes by) Would you look at the snacks on that!
Kat: (About "Batman" underpants) It's hard to take a superhero seriously when he's covering a little boy's pee-pee.
Ethan: Hey, wanna hear something crazy? Palmer said she thinks I should be with Kat.
Kyle: Well, duh!
Ethan: Wait, what?
Kyle: You and Kat. Duh!
Ethan: What are you talking about?
Kyle: I'm talking about "duh!"
Ethan: We're not "duh" at all. We're just friends.
Kyle: Do you find her attractive?
Ethan: Well, yeah.
Kyle: Have you pictured her naked?
Ethan: I picture everyone naked! In my mind, I'm the only one with clothes on.
Kyle: (about himself) Feeling a little exposed.
Ethan: I meant "just women."
Kyle: Feeling a little rejected.
Ethan: (About Ethan's possible-connection with Kat) Well, it doesn't matter anyway. Kat's with Bejamin.
Kyle: That's true. Benjamin is great.
Ethan: Picturing him naked?
Kyle: NO! He's wearing a hat.
Kyle: Oh, hey, so, the breakup went OK?
Ethan: Yeah. I'm gonna miss her. She was sweet.
Kyle: And gorgeous.
Ethan: I know! You know what's not fair? The whole time we went out, I didn't run into one guy I went to high school with.
Kyle: You just took a lot of pictures!
Ethan: Bought a new camera for it.
(Kyle enters Ethan's place)
Kyle: Hey. So, you ready to get your ass kicked?
Ethan: You're the one who's gonna get spanked all over the court.
Kyle: Oh yeah? By the time I'm done with you, you're gonna be crying to your momma.
Ethan: Crying to mine, or nailing yours?
Kyle: We're getting really good at this trash talk!
Nicole: (To Duncan; about leaving Yonk) Look, you're gonna have to face the fact that it may not work out between you and him.
Duncan: I just, I don't know, I just, I feel really bad.
Nicole: I do to!
Duncan: Yonk and I are supposed to go to the Sixers game next week.
Nicole: (sarcastically) You want me to hold off?
Duncan: No, no, no, besides, they're only playing the Hornets.
Nicole: What if it was the Lakers?
Duncan: Why do that?
(Duncan and Nicole are talking about Yonk)
Duncan: When does he come home?
Duncan: You know what you're gonna say?
Nicole: I've gotta tell him the truth. That I'm not happy. That I care about him. But... I love you.
Duncan: Wow. (hugs her) Do you have to mention me?
Duncan: You know, like, the me part. Maybe not need to know that?
Nicole: You're kind of a key component.
Duncan: I know, but he's also my friend! There's no way to down-play it? Maybe I'm not the reason, I'm just in the mix?
Kat: You're going to be very proud of me.
Ethan: Really? Were you nice to someone?
Richie: So, what's happening?
Duncan: We've got to stall him.
Richie: Stall him? What else can we do? I've already eaten a rodeo! Seriously, I'm burping hooves!
Nicole: He (Richie) doesn't know anything, right?
Duncan: (scoffs) No. Can you imagine him with a secret like this?
Nicole: Oh, God he'd explode. There'd be little orange bits of him all over!
Richie: What level of Hell is this?
An allusion to Dante's Divine Comedy, which describes Hell as a series of numbered layers or levels.
Kat: So, listen dude. There's something I want to do that I have never done before.
Benjamin: Really? Is it dirty?
Kat: Easy there, Benny Hill.
Kat talks about Benny Hill, an actor that is famous for playing various characters as a part of his act. He starred in his own show titled "Benny Hill."
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