The Class

Season 1 Episode 12

The Class Visits a Bad Neighborhood

0
Aired Unknown Jan 08, 2007 on CBS

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  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Kat: (to Ethan, after dinner) Well, I'm outta here.
      Ethan: (sadly) Goodnight...
      Kat: Will you stop pouting? It's never gonna happen.
      Ethan: I'll pout all I want. A dream has died tonight.

    • Kat: (to Ethan) Alright. Do you remember the scenario we were talking about a little while ago?
      Ethan: (smiles) Hmm. Remind me? Maybe there was a little saxophone in the background?
      Kat: Well... I think that... maybe I was a little close-minded.
      Ethan: (shocked) What?
      Kat: Well, I always said I'm someone who'd try anything once!
      Ethan: (quickly) And I love that about you!
      Kat: So, what I'm saying is... I'm not sure that a threesome is out of the question.
      Ethan: (weakly) Are you serious?
      Kat: God, you're right, it's crazy...
      Ethan: (desperatly) No! It's not crazy, it's not crazy! It's surprising and unexpected and perhaps even beautiful.
      Kat: It would just have to be a one-time thing.
      Ethan: I have no problem with that! One time is a hundred times better than no times!!
      Kat: Okay.
      (Ethan grins)
      (Kat heads towards the living room)
      Kat: Okay! So... you get Palmer out of here and I'm gonna go warm up Kyle.
      Ethan: Yeah---WHAT?
      Kat: A threesome, with you, me and Kyle.
      Ethan: Kyle? No, no, no! There's no Kyle! Palmer! Palmer, good!
      Kat: (disgusted) God, Palmer? No! You know how I feel about her. But Kyle? He's pretty hot, don't you think?
      Ethan: No! He's got boy parts!

    • Kat: (to Ethan) Palmer hit on me.
      Ethan: (incredulous) No way.
      Kat: Yeah! She got the wrong signals from the flowers that I gave her...
      Ethan: Oh my God...
      Kat: (meaning it) I'm really sorry.
      Ethan: Wow, um... I'm glad you told me...
      Kat: You okay?
      (Ethan covers his face with one hand and smiles)
      Ethan: Yeah, I just need to uh... take it in.
      (Kat stares at him, confused)
      Kat: Are you smiling?
      Ethan: No!!! Why would I be? The thought of you two together... it's... devastating!
      (Ethan covers his face again, grinning)
      Kat: (shocked) Are you getting off on this?
      Ethan: (snorts) No! I'm crushed! I mean, it's horrible! (dreamly) I'm not gonna be able to get the picture of the two of you out of my head!
      Kat: (irritated) This is unbelievable.
      Ethan: You know what would make things even worse? If I walked in on you guys. I mean, I don't even wanna think about what would happen next!
      (Kat walks past him)
      Kat: NOTHING, nothing happens next!
      Ethan: But what if it did? Talk about a nightmare! And what IF, in my distress, I tripped and fell on the bed and all my clothes fell off, what would you do? I mean, WHAT would you DO?!
      Kat: (still distressed) I am appalled. I just told you your girlfriend hit on me, alright? And now you're trying to put yourself in the middle of it?
      (She walks out)
      Ethan: No, I don't have to be in the middle, I'm fine with either end!

    • Ethan: (to Kat) Hey! I saw you chatting with Palmer earlier. How did that go?
      Kat: Um, it was uh... it was interesting!
      Ethan: How so?
      (Kat stands up and pulls him by the hand)
      Kat: Alright. I don't know how to tell you this, but uh... your new girlfriend? Kind of a buffer!

    • Fern: (to Richie) Have you met someone else??
      Richie: (unconvincingly) No!!!
      Nicole: (walks in) Did we get everything?
      (Fern turns to look at her, shocked, believing she's Richie's girlfriend)
      Nicole: Oh! A gun! You must be Fern!

    • Palmer: (to Kat) I just wanna let you know... that I wouldn't be... uninterested. Anyway, just wanted to put it out there!
      (Kat scrunches up her face)
      (Palmer runs off)
      Kyle: (walks towards Kat) I'm back.
      Kat: (frozen) Little late!

    • Kyle: (to Kat) Your mingling style is oddly bossy.

    • (Palmer grabs the wine Kyle gave Ethan)
      Palmer: I'll open it! I'm a great cork schroder!
      (She leaves, jumpily)
      Kyle: (to Ethan, doubtfully) She seems special.

    • (Palmer looks at the flowers Ethan sent her)
      Palmer: Wow! These are huge!
      Kat: (smirking) Wait 'til they all open!

    • Mrs. Carmello: I would not want to be a garbage badge.
      Richie: (Ironically) A controversial stance.
      Mrs. Carmello: Although, it is a badge. You get to go places.
      Richie: I would think mostly dumps.
      Mrs. Carmello: Still, it's nice to get out.

    • Kat: (To Ethan, about Palmer) Alright. If we're having dinner together, it's not just gonna be the three of us. I need buffers. I wanna throw bodies at this thing.
      Ethan: Alright. Call your sister and Richie.
      Kat: Oh, I will and you're calling people too. Friends, co-workers... I want this thing loco with amigos!

    • Kat: (To Ethan, about Palmer) I asked you to do one thing, and that was to hate her!
      Ethan: (Grinning) Well, then I completely screwed that up.
      Kat: Okay, so, you had your way with her, and now you're done! You're a guy, right? One night, moving on, who's next?
      Ethan: Actually, I'm seeing her again tonight.
      Kat: So two nights, moving on, who's next?

    • Kat: What is it with the one dude? Where are my buffers?
      Ethan: Okay, relax, your sister and Richie are coming with two backups, and in the meantime Kyle's the buffer.
      Palmer: Kyle's a what?
      Ethan: Huh... He's... he's a buffer.
      Palmer: What's a buffer?
      Ethan: You know... He's... gay.
      Palmer: Huh. Buffer? Never heard that term before.
      Ethan: It's new! It's cause a lot of gay guys work out, you know, and get buffer.

    • (Kat and Ethan walk towards Kat's apartment and she sees an enormous amount of flowers in front of Palmer's door)
      Kat: (disgusted) Oh, dear Lord.
      Ethan: Oh, good, they got here!
      Kat: (looks at him) Wait. That parade flode is from you?
      Ethan: (proudly) What do you think?
      Kat: I... think that she's gonna dump your ass.
      Ethan: (frowns) What?
      Kat: Dude, will you look at that thing? That is too much, too soon. You've been with her for like what, thee days?
      Ethan: (confused) You really think it's too much?
      Kat: Well, that depends... Did she win the Kentucky Derby?
      Ethan: I think they're nice.
      Kat: Oh, they're nice. They're restraining-order nice, they're I-want-to-make-a-jacket-out-of-your-skin nice.
      Ethan: Really? I just wanted her to know how I feel about her.
      Kat: Hey, I'm on board. This is you screwing up your relationship with Palmer. I would organize a walk-a-thon for that cause.
      (She enters at her apartment and Palmer gets out of hers)
      Palmer: (seeing the flowers, overwhelmed) Oh... my God!
      (Kat walks out of her apartment)
      Kat: (exultantly) And I get to see it!

    • Kat: Alright, if we're having dinner together, it's not just going to be the three of us. I need buffers. I want to throw bodies in this thing.
      Ethan: Alright. Call your sister and Richie.
      Kat: Oh, I will. And you're calling people too. Friends, co-workers, I want this thing loco with amigos!

    • Palmer: How amazing is this? (to Kat) We're friends, (to Kat and Ethan) and you're friends... We're like the three amigos!
      Ethan: We could get jackets!

    • Duncan: You need more than one outfit. You gotta go back to your place and get your stuff.
      Richie: I'm so afraid Fern's gonna be there, with her horns and tail and sulfur smell.

    • Duncan: So, Rich, Holly Ellenbogen, what's up with that?
      Richie: I don't know I just made up a name.
      Duncan: No you didn't.
      Nicole: We went to school with her. When you crashed your car she was the reporter in the back seat. That was Holly Ellenbogen.
      Richie: Really? It sounds so made up.
      Duncan: Nope. She's real.
      Richie: Oh. Oh well.

    • (A phone conversation between Fern and Holly)
      Fern: I said I'm gonna get you!
      Holly: Now I only got part of that. What are you gonna get me?
      (Fern hangs up the phone)
      Holly: Hello? Well, I guess I'll just have to be suprised.

    • Duncun: Hey guys, you get everything or... Oh! A gun. You must be Fern.
      Fern: Who is she? Who were you sneaking around with behind my back?
      Richie: It doesn't matter who she is.
      Fern: No, it matters to me. I want a name.
      Richie: No.
      Fern: I'm not playing games.I want her name.
      Richie: Well, I'm not telling you.
      Fern: Oh, you're going to tell me. Now! Ow ow ow ow! Son of a b*tch! Ow!
      Richie: That's it.
      Fern: My thumb is caught in this stupid thing! Oww!
      Richie: I uh, I think we're going to take off.
      (Richie, Duncan and Nicole run out the door)
      Nicole: Oh my God!
      Duncan: Nice ex-wife by the way, real positive energy.
      Fern: (yelling through the door) Oww, it hurts!
      Duncan: Uh, Rich?
      Richie: It sounds like she's really in pain.
      Nicole: It's because she's caught in her gun!

    • Palmer: So, Ethan tells me you're a buffer.
      Kyle: He told you that?
      Palmer: Yeah, I-I hope that's okay.
      Kyle: Uh, It's fine with me, if you're okay with it.
      Palmer: Oh, yeah it's totally cool. My cousin Donald is a buffer.
      Kyle: He is? Like on a regular basis?
      Palmer: Umm, I think so. Since collage he's been pretty full on.
      Kyle: Huh, I've never actually been a buffer til tonight.
      Palmer: Wow, this is like, a really big night for you.
      Kyle: I need more monkey wine.

    • Ethan: You're not going to believe this. Palmer hit on Kat!
      Kyle: Huh, you're kidding.
      Ethan: No sir! I am not!
      Kyle: So uh, the girl you're seeing hit it on your friend. And you're happy why?
      Ethan: Come on! Kat on Palmer action. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying. Seriously, do you know what I'm saying?
      Kyle: I-I suppose in theory, but...
      Ethan: God, it's not fair, I need a straight guy. I've got no one to share this with.
      Kyle: Oh! Oh, okay, umm... well, how's this? Oh, oh, oh man, that totally rocks. Two chicks, tasty.
      Ethan: Alright!
      Kyle: And all those breasts, going every which way!
      Ethan: And you're gay again.

    • Fern: So there is a girlfriend!
      Nicole: I'm sorry... was that not established?
      Fern: Well, whoever she is, she must have pretty low self esteem to fall for a shedding penniless albino like you.
      Richie: She's being nice because we have company.

    • Fern: (To Richie) So, how's the single life treating you? Kind of lonely being the only one listening to the sound of your nose whistling?

    • Fern: What the hell are you thinking, you idiot?!
      Richie: Oh, it's good to be home!

    • (After Duncan, Nicole and Richie enter Richie's apartment)
      Nicole: Could I use your bathroom really quick?
      Richie: Oh sure, it's right over there. But in order to flush the toilet, you have to take the lid off the tank and reach your hand in. The water's pretty murky but there's usually a rubber glove on the floor.
      Nicole: And now I don't have to go anymore!

    • Kat: (To Ethan in the hallway after seeing him kiss Palmer) You, inside, now! I asked you to do one thing, and that was to hate her.
      Ethan: Well then, I completely screwed that up!

    • Mrs. Carmello: You know who always wore the same outfit? Charlie Brown...

    • (Through the peep hole of her door, Kat watches Ethan and Palmer kiss in the hallway.)
      Kat: Gross, I can't believe I have to watch this!

    • Richie: You have a gun?
      Fern: Richard, is that you?
      Richie: What answer gets me not shot?

    • Richie: When did you get a gun?
      Fern: My father gave it to me on our wedding day with a note that said: "Trust your instincts."

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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