The Colbert Report

Season 4 Episode 16

Andrew Napolitano

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jan 31, 2008 on Comedy Central
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Andrew Napolitano
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Tonight Stephen welcomes Fox News analyst Judge Andrew Napolitano, author of A Nation of Sheep. Also, Stephen talks with Tim Hartford, author of The Logic of Life about making decisions based on logic.

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    • QUOTES (3)

      • Napolitano: The constitution upholds human freedom...Everything the government does takes away some of our freedom. That's why we have to watch everything the government does. That's why we have a constitution--to restrain the government Bill...I mean Stephen.
        (Guest begins laughing at his misnomer)
        Colbert: It's quite an honor. (Tries to get back to interview but both are laughing too much) It's not going to get better than that. (Colbert ends the interview amidst audience laughter)

      • (Continuing his discussion with guest Tim Harford)
        Colbert: What about unprotected sex? That's not a logical decision.
        Harford: Are you offering?
        Colbert: You sir, you could not afford me...(back in the conversation)...That's not a logical decision. Two young kids, unprotected sex.
        Harford: It's not a logical decision and it's getting riskier and riskier to have unprotected sex. So, what do we see? We see kids losing their virginity later. They're using condoms and having more oral sex which is safer. I mean, the price of Coke goes up, you drink Pepsi. The price of regular sex gets riskier, you have oral sex.
        Colbert: So, wait a second, you just said that straight sex is Coke and oral sex is Pepsi. And you are saying right now that the young people are the Pepsi generation. And, I'm not sure, I am really not sure which one of them is our sponsor. I'd like to apologize to one of them. (Colbert laughs out of character)

      • (Discussing "The Logic of Life" with first guest Tim Harford)
        Harford: You've got a stack of speeches...or you could read a magazine...Now,if you read the speeches, you make a better informed vote but you know your vote won't make any difference. So, logically...you get your information about who to vote for by watching daytime tv. I don't see what's illogical about that. It's rational irrationality.
        Colbert: So, what you're saying is we can make laziness work for us. I like the sound of this. Does procrastination factor in and what about obesity? (brief exchange) What about smoking? People don't make logical decisions about smoking. Logically, you shouldn't because it gives you cancer...
        Harford: It's bad for you and, at the same time, teenagers know it's cool.
        Colbert: I'm glad you said that because teenagers do not get that message often enough. Kids, smoking is cool!

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