The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 119

Arianna Huffington

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Sep 25, 2006 on Comedy Central
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Arianna Huffington
AIRED:
Tonight Stephen welcomes back Arianna Huffington, blogger and author of On Becoming Fearless...in Love, Work, and Life

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    • TRIVIA (1)

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      • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Opposition Party. You gotta hand it to McCain, Warner and Graham, they stood up for their principles and came out with a deal that preserves America's moral standing. (Standing naked in a cold room) Here's the compromise: McCain, Warner and Graham conceded the President's right to declare anyone anywhere and illegal enemy combatant and detain them indefinitely without trail. (Sleep lightly, Helen Thomas) That eliminates the writ of habeas corpus which demands you present a reason for imprisoning someone. Let's face it, habeas corpus is pre-9/11 thinking. (Magna Carta, 1215 A.D.) Now for his part the President conceded to the Senators that he will not change the Geneva Convention's language on torture, as long as he personally gets to decide what torture is. (For him, White House press room) So it was an ideal compromise, in the name of the greater good everyone gave up a little something. (Say a pinky finger)

        I think the Republicans played this perfectly, instead of letting the Democrats oppose the President, they took a stand and so were able to reach a middle ground that was acceptable to both sides. (The Right and the Far Right) But you know, those of us in the press had our job to do to. We made it look like Bush and McCain were marching to very different drummers but it turns out they were dancing to the same tune. (Red Hot Chili Peppers) It just proves what I always said, governing is a lot easier when your checks and balances come from people who don't want to check or balance you. After all, why let the opposing party fight your legislation, you have way more control when you're your own opposition. (Ask the Log Cabin Republicans)

        And folks, it's a strategy that can work on any issue. Let's say, I don't know, you came out in favor of drawing and quartering criminals. (Finally, work for my ox!) Instead of letting your political enemies come out against it, you seize the high moral ground by getting a member of your own party to oppose you, then you can reach a reasonable compromise. Drawing and halving, that's only half a bad. (Twice as easy to clean up) After all if you're your own opposition, what position can your real opposition take? (Submission)

        And that's the Word.

    • NOTES (1)

      • This episode featured another clip from Stephen's Green Screen Challenge. Once again Stephen is instered into The Phantom Menace, (and an extra clip of Stephen screaming NOOOO!) this time killing Darth Maul.

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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