The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 100

Bill Rhoden

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Aug 08, 2006 on Comedy Central
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Bill Rhoden
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Tonight, New York Times columnist and author of Forty Million Dollar Slaves: The Rise, Fall and Redemption of the Black Athlete, Bill Rhoden.

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Today
9:30am
COMEDY
11:30pm
COMEDY
Tuesday
1:30am
COMEDY
11:30pm
COMEDY
Wednesday
1:30am
COMEDY
11:30pm
COMEDY
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    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (2)

      • Stephen: Ostensibly for 'renovations,' but you know, that mob-run pizza joint in my neighborhood has had a 'renovations' sign in the window for sixteen years. I don't think we're going to see the inside of that briefing room anytime soon.

      • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Ten-Hut! Veterans, I've got something to say. No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country, he won it by standing behind his President. (2 or 3 could stand behind Taft) All this bull you anti-war vets have been saying about ending the war is just a bunch of horse dung. All real Americans love the sting of battle. (On TV) And veterans you should love it more than anyone else, you hold unique position in society. (You have healthcare) You've lived through the horrors of war, that's why you have a special responsibility to be for it. Those of you who are veterans of our current war have all the more reason. If you don't support this war it's like you went over there for no reason. (Since you mentioned it…) While you're over here debating the issue, Rumsfeld and Cheney are knee deep in the sh*t. (Theirs) Memos flying pass them, cameras shooting them, making life and death decisions every day. (Just not their lives) What make you veterans think you know better than the Commander in Chief? (Actual combat experience?) Now I suppose some could say: But Stephen, who are you to criticize, you've never been to war. (Laser Tag doesn't count) Well, that's right, I haven't been to war, (Although 11:30 time slot very competitive) but folks, that's not my fault. I was too young for Vietnam and too old for the Gulf War. (27's too old?) Shut up. So veterans, I'm may not have your moral authority, but that's no reason to deny that moral authority from future generations. It's time for you to stop fighting this fighting, so that thirty years from now when your grandson asks you: What did you do during the great Iraq War, you'll be able to say: The same thing you're doing there now.

        And that's the Word.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Tonight's The Word sketch is based on the introductory scene of the film Patton. The Word itself served as the movie's opening line, while Colbert is dressed as Patton himself, in full regalia and in front of a giant American flag.

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