The Colbert Report

Season 1 Episode 30

Bob Costas

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Dec 13, 2005 on Comedy Central
out of 10
User Rating
9 votes

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Episode Summary

Bob Costas
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes the host of Costas Now and sports commentator, Bob Costas!

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  • Stephen dedicates the show to sports.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from what it takes to be a great coach to steroids.

    Stephen starts off by mentioning several sports-related stories, and announces a new report, "The De-Ballification of the American Sportscape". He introduces a telestrator, much like you would see John Madden use during the football game. Stephen ends up making a nice little mess on the screen. He then draws a Snoopy character, and a few birds. Stephen plays a clip of Tony Blair using European Football, and uses the telestrator. Stephen moves on to a report about a coach who quit to spend time with his family, but no one seems to believe him. Stephen wonders what makes a great coach, which brings us to tonight's edition of "The Word", which is "Lombardi", named after the Green Bay Packer's coach, Vince Lombardi.

    Stephen decides to take a look at some sports scores, but they can't use actual footage because of the expensive footage fees, so they play old footage from various "sports".

    Back from commercial, Stephen brings up the topic of steroids, so he decides to debate himself about the topic, in "Formidable Opponent".

    Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, Bob Costas. They discuss the upcoming 2006 Winter Olympics and then steroids. Just before ending the conversation, Stephen brings up the news about Bob Costas refusing to sub for Larry King when he didn't believe certain things were news. Instead of getting a real discussion, Stephen just made a crack about Bob and other sports commentators.

    Back from commercial, we find Stephen messing around with things on the shelves. Stephen says how he really changed over the course of the day. Stephen decides to give out a weird trophy to all of us, the heroes, but Stephen gets to keep it.

    I enjoyed most of the show, but the "Formidable Opponent" segments are starting to lack humor. They only seem to get funny at the end, and frankly, I find them to be rather boring and ridiculous.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (2)

    • Stephen: which brings us to tonight's Word: Lombardi. Vince Lombardi. He was the legendary coach who took the rag tag, undisciplined Green Bay Packers, (Actual meat packers) and let them to two Superbowls and five NFL Championships before it was even called the Superbowl. (Leather Helmet Head Trauma Bowl) Now Lombardi was an American hero because he never quit. (Despite being stuck in Green Bay) He said "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." (Also said: "I'm the Fred Astaire of karate) He was so good that Nixon once considered him as a running mate. (Attorney General: Joe Namath) And he did whatever it took to win, just like another coach, Gary Barnett, who was recently fired from the University of Colorado football program. Barnett knew that to get a good team, you need good recruits, and to get good recruits you need hookers, booze and a coach will cover for you when you're accused of sexual assault. (Go Fightin' Roofies!) Or take for example, Fisher DeBerry of the Air Force football team, who wasn't afraid to ask what he knew he needed to win: more black players. What was his actual quote there? ("Afro-American kids can run very, very well.") That didn't win him any awards, ("Jimmy the Greek Farewell Award") but it did make is point. A good coach is essential to a winning team. Quitters like Van Gundy should pay more attention to America's coach: George W. Bush. He's played five great quarters so far. (Only 3 quarters left America!) Never quits, never pulls out. Lombardi was so great the Superbowl trophy was named after him, and thanks to our President's leadership style, his name will live on too. (Bush league)

      And that's the Word.

    • Stephen Colbert: Get some ice, I pulled my groin, my enormous groin.

  • NOTES (1)