The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 44

Clive James

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Mar 29, 2007 on Comedy Central
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Clive James
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Tonight Stephen welcomes renouned critic and author of Cultural Amnesia: Necessary Memories from History and the Arts, Clive James.

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      • Stephen: …and turned them into tonight's Word: Lemon-Raid. Folks, staging fake raids to fool the bad guys is a time honored tradition. Whenever Starsky and Hutch needed the word on the street from Huggy Bear, they'd go to his club and rough him up in front of all the other pimps. But once they got him in the back room they were all buddies, (Detectives with benefits) Huggy kept his street cred while helping the cops clean up the streets of Bay City. Well, just make Bay City, Sadr City and you've got the Army's plan. (Both based on 1975 thinking) Basically we're using our unpopularity to our advantage. (Like Ann Coulter) And the great part of this story is what it tells us about what is going on in Iraq, that we have no idea what's going on in Iraq. (Razed and confused) Sure, thinks look violent, but is this raid is staged it's possible that every other military action in Iraq is also staged. Just clever ruses perpetrated with the cooperation of friendly Iraqis for a good reason that needs to be kept from us. (Loose lips sink funding) Now, I'm not saying the whole war was a raid on an old friend, obviously we could not allow the smoking gun to become a mushroom cloud. (Instead mushroom cloud was smoke screen) But maybe we're pretending we can't get out of Iraq to fool the real enemy, Iran, into thinking… Wait a minute. Maybe Iran's secretly an ally too. Nah, if they were a secret ally we would have invaded them by now to cover it up. The point is regardless of what naysayers on the ground like Michael Ware "witness" we're not going to lose the Iraq war, because for all we know we've already won.

        And that's the Word.

      • Stephen: If you're doing yoga, time to transition into the downward facing eagle. This is the Colbert Report!

      • Stephen: Clive James, author of Cultral Amnesia, believes that those who fail to remember history...something something something.

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