The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 60

Conn Iggulden

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM May 03, 2007 on Comedy Central
out of 10
User Rating
6 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Conn Iggulden
Tonight Stephen welcomes historical novelist and author of The Dangerous Book for Boys, Conn Iggulden.
No results found.
No results found.
No results found.
  • "The Word" amusingly addresses the growing popularity of atheism. Some sexist tried to argue boys need to endanger themselves more.

    "The Word" talking about the growth of Atheism was incredibly amusing.

    But all I can remember is how much of a sexist pig that author Conn was.

    ONLY boys should go out and play?

    He literally said "Their brains work differently. They think differently."

    "they like conversations.... the girls"

    "Men esp. love knowledge that makes them experts"

    "Boys need heroes" (women don't?)

    "What's wrong with celebrating boys" (hello what was like everything before the 2nd wave feminism of the 70's?

    Wow, I wish Stephen had skewered him some more on that.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (4)

    • Stephen: My guest tonight has written a book encouraging boys to play outside. I'm going to wait to get my kids the video game.

    • Stephen: One of the things I like most about being a God-fearing Christian is knowing that I'll be going to heaven while God-less heathens will burn in hell.

    • Stephen: I will now make a brief, thirty minute statement followed by no questions. This is the Colbert Report!

    • Stephen: …and is the subject of tonight's Word: The Unquisition. There's a single idea common to most religions: Inherent in my belief is your wrongness. (Who Would Jesus Exclude?) Fundamentalist Muslims think Christian are going to Hell, fundamentalist Christians think Muslims are going to Hell, Sunnis don't like Shiites, Evangelicals don't like Moderates, the Jews don't like themselves, Episcopalians don't like gay Episcopalians and the Catholics belong to the one true church founded by Jesus Christ Himself and those who are not within her sacramental embrace will be thrown into the darkness where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. (On the plus side, there's condoms) Atheists were harder to oppose as a group because for years they content to deny the supremacy of the one true God in the privacy of their own homes. But now these missionary secularists are working hard to convince the faithful to believe what they do, or technically, not believe what they don't. (Anti-vangelicals) Before they had nothing to sell, (Willy No-Man) now they're selling nothingness. (Comes with free subscription to The New Yorker) This is a vast, vast improvement folks, and least now they've joined the game and they're playing it hard.

      Besides these Sunday sermons, they've even got their own good book, Onfrey's best seller The Atheist Manifesto. (a.k.a. "The Dead Faith Scrolls") And this atheist awakening is spreading across Europe. In Britain, membership in the National Secular Society has doubled in the past four years. Christians who join get a de-baptism. (Wash that Christ right out of their hair) This is great. They're getting organized into a collective target of wrongness. But can I give your atheists some advice? (Send her flowers for no reason?) Plan for the future, for all those new members you're going to have to have some buildings to meet in. Probably want to make them nice, toss in some marble or colorful windows. (The Nihilistine Chapel) But keep in mind, that'll cost money so you'll need to pass around, lets say, a plate to collect it. (Assuming you believe in plates) Now if you go to all that trouble you're gonna want to make sure the people who attend the meetings truly don't believe what you say they shouldn't. (And maybe don't sing some songs) You know, Michel Onfrey is already there, put him in charge, maybe give him a big hat so people know he's the boss. [Pope hat]

      Once all these steps are taken you'll be ready for what Onfrey says all this is leading up to, a confrontation between religions and atheism in quote: a final battle. Then we can fight it out and decide one and for all who's right. The Us vs Them of old religion, or the Them vs Us of new atheism. (The unquisition)

      And that's the Word.

  • NOTES (1)


Season 3 Episodes

See All
Ep 138
Walter Kirn
Ep 137
Col. Lawrence Wilkerson
Ep 136
Craig Venter
Ep 135
Richard Berman
Ep 134
Craig Newmark
Ep 133
Garry Kasparov
Ep 132
Bob Drogin
Ep 131
Paul Glastris
Ep 130
Chris Jordan
Ep 128
General Wesley Clark
Ep 128
Stephen Colbert
Ep 127
George Saunders
Ep 126
John Kao
Ep 125
Jim Lovell
Ep 124
John Mearsheimer
Ep 123
Charlie Savage
Ep 122
David Schwartz
Ep 121
Tony Bennett
Ep 120
John Grisham
Ep 119
Thomas Friedman
Ep 118
Jeffrey Toobin
Ep 117
Naomi Wolf
Ep 116
Susan Sarandon
Ep 115
Ed Begley Jr
Ep 114
Joel Klein
Ep 113
Garrison Keillor