The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 36

Connie Chung

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Mar 20, 2006 on Comedy Central
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Connie Chung
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes former news anchor, Connie Chung!

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  • A fairly disappointing installment.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from spring to Hollywood is trying to destroy America.

    Stephen starts off tonight's show by mentioning a cut he suffered when making chowder over the weekend.

    Stephen then gets into the third anniversary of the Iraq war, and Stephen says that we must end it in one year, because the best wars last only four years. Stephen then mentions the problem with how he couldn't get a cake made in the likeliness of Mohammad.

    Next, Stephen insists the people on FOX are the real heroes. They insist that the stock market is a clear indicator of how the war is going, so things apparently are going well.

    Moving on, Stephen turns his attention to spring, which brings us to tonight's edition of "The Word," which is "Stop It." Stephen's not happy with spring; he doesn't see any need for the change.

    Back from commercial, Stephen introduces this week's edition of "Movies That Are Destroying America." The Libertine, She's The Man, X-Men III, Madea's Family Reunion, and V For Vendetta all make the list. The one movie Stephen is looking forward to is Basic Instinct 2 for obvious reasons.

    Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, Connie Chung. They talk about how she works with her husband, her past work in the news industry, and her love for packages.

    Back from commercial, Stephen ends the show by tossing out some Jessica Simpson items because she snubbed President Bush's invitation to a GOP fundraiser.

    Tonight's show was a bit disappointing. None of the segments truly stood out in my eye, although "Movies That Are Destroying America" was probably my favorite because of Stephen's facial expressions when talking about Sharon Stone.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (1)

    • Stephen: ...which brings us to tonight's Word: Stop it. I don't know who started this idea that spring is so great, (Life-huggers) but folks, do you know what the change of season bring? Catastrophe: avalanches, mudslides, tornados and forest fires. (And that's just California) There's a word for those who like change: (Vending machines?) flip-floppers. Well I don't like change, (Except Reagan dime) I prefer the term renewal. As in let's renew the Patriot Act, and let's renew Congress for another term. The safest way to avoid throwing the baby out with the bathwater is to not change the bathwater. (Or use a colander) This whole change thing smacks of evolutionism, (Monkey see, monkey adapt) as if the present way things are is not ordained eternally by God. (Thou shalt "Deal with it")

      Why do people like spring? I blame the butterflies. They would have us believe that change is beautiful. (And pollen is delicious) Well, I've got something to say to those butterflies out there: If you were born a caterpillar, you stay a caterpillar. No more of this secret cocoon business. (Sorry, Wilford) So, this year, instead of changing to this new and unknown spring, let's renew our commitment to the winter that we already know. (Pretend snowman is Parson Brown) And it needn't be winter of our discontent, it can be a winter of our smug satisfaction. So baby chicks, stay in your eggs. Tulip bulbs, cease sprouting. And Earth's axis, it's your arrogant tilting that's causing all of this, so stop it.

      And that's the Word.

  • NOTES (0)


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