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The Colbert Report

Season 1 Episode 27

Craig Crawford

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Dec 07, 2005 on Comedy Central
out of 10
User Rating
8 votes

By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

Craig Crawford
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes the author of Attack the Messenger: How Politicians Turn You Against the Media, Craig Crawford!

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  • Stephen takes a look at the war on Christmas.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from the war on Christmas to heating oil.

    Stephen starts off by getting into the war on Christmas. Stephen wants to open with a graphic package for a campaign against humbuggery, but the director doesn't have the graphics or the music for it, so Stephen makes it up on his own.

    Stephen moves on to Hugo Chavez, who has agreed to offer cheap heating oil to people in New York, which brings us to tonight's edition of "The Word", which is "Hell, No!" (changed from "Hell, Yes!"). Stephen says we shouldn't be accepting help from other countries.

    Back from commercial, Stephen brings in the Threatdown. Stephen's caught off guard by there being six on the list. The number six threat is "Popes!", as there are too many made for TV movies about the Popes. Number five is "Wasps!", who could put drug and bomb-sniffing dogs out of business. Coming in at number four is "9/11 Commission!", who released a new report, which says U.S. is at risk. Next, at number three is "Alien Landing Areas!" because new circles seen in Mexico, and have something to do with Scientology. Number two is "Happiness!", specifically German happiness, as German ad campaign trying to show a different side of themselves, and Stephen objects to seeing the Germans happy. The top threat is "Bears!" because they want our Christmas, and is taking over the Coca Cola Christmas cans replacing Santa Claus.

    Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, Craig Crawford. They talk about how politicians turn regular people against the media, which is the subject of his new book.

    I enjoyed most of the episode, really, all except for the interview, which didn't interest me very much.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (1)

    • Stephen: ...let me respond with tonight's Word: Hell No. (Hell Yes!) Venezuela, we don't need oil from you, (Uh, how much oil we talking about?) this is America, you don't help us, we help you. (Crude or refined?) Hey, Hugo, if you think you're gonna win the hearts and minds of Northeasterners away from our President, jokes on you chubby, he never had them. (Cuz we could send a tanker for it. Whatever works for you) Listen, that doesn't mean Americans are going to give you their hearts and minds. (We'll trade them for the oil) Your ambassador said you are doing this because quote "We are all Americans." No we're not! WE are Americans. (USA! USA! USA!) YOU are Venezuelans, or at best you're South Americans or Central Americans or wherever the Hell Venezuela is. (Real Americans fail geography)

      The point is, we don't need your help, especially those of us who do need your help. (The proud helpless) If anyone is going to give poor Americans affordable heating oil it will be US oil companies. (Which they probably won't) Which they won't, (I know it!) because of one simple reason, we respect them to much. (Thank you?) And poor people, you're not of the hook yet either. Stop being poor. By being destitute you make us look bad. Chavez recently said quote "There are people who die in the cold in winter in the US." Who blabbed? Loose lips sink ships, (Like the Exxon Valdez?) It is our patriotic duty to refuse this socialist oil. (Freeze for freedom) After hurricane Katrina, Japan, Germany and Afghanistan offered us aid, but our President turned it all down. (He WHAT?!) Because with all the troubles we have in this country, (Terrorism, Unemployment, outsourcing, gun violence, no health care, starving children) there is one thing Americans desperately need, (Help!) pride.

      And that's the Word.

  • NOTES (0)