The Colbert Report

Season 5 Episode 38

David Grann

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Mar 17, 2009 on Comedy Central
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Tonight Stephen welcomes the author of The Lost City of Z: A Tale of Deadly Obsession in the Amazon, David Grann.
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      • Stephen: Tonight: How will the wealthy weather the economic crisis? Easy, we have weather control machines! And scientists make a revolutionary new discovery. Come on roller skating microwaves! And my guest David Grann has written about the secrets of the Amazon rainforest. Hmm, I wonder how many trees it took to print that. It's St. Patrick's Day, so you can kiss my Blarney Stones! This is the Colbert Report.

      • Stephen: Now, I cannot tell you all the details. Military officials have recommended that I "…do not reference the name of the country…" So all I will say is there will be sand and people who wish we would leave. Could be the Bahamas. You know how hotel staff can be. So I can't tell you the country, but I can tell you my exact location. Which will be right here between the two Winnebago sized armored vehicles and right behind the badasses with the guns. I'll be in a fetal position. Now as for when this is happening…I can't tell you that either! So, to recap, The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future or past.

      • Stephen: According to the New York Times: "…the recession has aimed it death ray not just at the credit market, the Dow and Detroit, but at the very ethos of conspicuous consumption." That's right, the recession is making us aim the death ray! We can't afford to fire it randomly anymore.

      • David Grann: For five months they sent out dispatches. He would write on pieces of paper, describing, uh, their experience. And they would give them to Indian runners who would carry these papers out of the jungle which would take weeks for these papers to arrive. Eventually they would reach an outpost, they would be typed up on telegraph machines and kind of blasted around the world. So the whole world followed this expedition as it moved deeper and deeper into the Amazon.
        Stephen Colbert: So, a a a twitter was actually...
        David Grann: That's exactly right....
        Stephen Colbert: ... an Indian running as fast as he can.

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