The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 9

David Gregory

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jan 23, 2006 on Comedy Central
out of 10
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Episode Summary

David Gregory
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes NBC News White House Correspondent, David Gregory!

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  • Stephen takes on Hamas and bears.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from Osama Bin Laden to NASCAR switching fuel.

    Stephen starts off the show by mentioning Oprah, who chose a book, which has caused some controversy, as some of the facts have been questioned.

    Stephen transitions into a discussion on Osama Bin Laden's offer of a truce. Stephen thinks that he's ready to quit, thus declaring the U.S. the winner. This brings us to tonight's edition of "The Word," which is "Charlie Daniels." Stephen suggests we're at a crossroads, with a deal with the devil. Stephen doesn't seem to have a problem with making a deal with Bin Laden.

    Back from commercial, Stephen introduces this week's edition of "Threat Down." Number five is "Unleaded Gas," as it seems NASCAR is switching to unleaded fuels for safety concerns for its drivers, engineers, and fans. Number four is "The Vatican," who are telling us intelligent design is not based on science. Number three is "Kobe Bryant," who scored 81 points, the second most all-time. He's said to be the best player ever by some folks, but Stephen insists Michael Jordan is number one. Coming in at number two is "Children's Advocacy Groups," as these "child huggers" are suing companies for their marketing tactics to get kids hooked on their sugar products. The number one threat is "Hamas," a terrorist group, using bears in their tv shows.

    Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, David Gregory. They talked about David Gregory's job of covering the president and the how small the press room at the White House is.

    Back from commercial, Stephen ends the show by discussing Medicare plans, all to romantic music.

    The ending and the "threat down" were my favorite segments tonight. I don't know what it is, but even a fairly average episode of this show seems better than an average episode of The Daily Show, but that's just my opinion.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (1)

    • Stephen: �which brings us to tonight�s Word: Charlie Daniels. We are a society that understands doing business and so does the Devil. (Buy now, pay Later) That guy plays ball. (See: Damn Yankees) He�s the ultimate free marketeer. (The invisible cloven hood of the market) In Iraq, America is at a crossroads, the perfect place to make a deal with the Devil. (Ask Robert Johnson) All Bin Laden wants us to do is to pull out all our troops. If we accept his truce we can declare victory in the War on Terror, which also means victory in Iraq. (Mission Re-Accomplished) Sure, maybe Iraq will turn into a radical regime that will destabilize the region even further, (Further?!) but that might not happen for thirty, forty days. (Eternity in News Cycle) Sure, maybe it legitimizes terrorism and validates the unspeakable horrors, but on the other hand, we�ve made deals with the devil before. (Marcos, Pinochet, Papa Doc, Baby Doc, Somoza, Noriega, Contras, The Shah, Genghis Khan, Amin, Botha, Suaron, House of Saud, Mujahadeen, Suharto, Mobutu) And it�s easy, the Devil will accept a simple handshake. [video of Saddam Hussein & Donald Rumsfeld Dec. 20, 1983] We made deals with the Iraqi Devil in the 80�s. Sure, the original price of one soul has gotten a little compounded with interest over the last 25 years, (Current cost in souls: 2,227) but we�ve gotten a lot of mileage out of it. (Miles per gallon) Surely, for our present greed somewhere down the line someone�s gonna have to pay some minor consequences, (Grandkids will live in caves) but as long as that someone isn�t me, or at least not me right now, (Eat it, future Colbert) then really, it doesn�t matter. Besides, if we didn�t make deals with the Devil, how could I have gotten this sweet gold fiddle? And that�s the Word.

  • NOTES (1)


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