The Word: The Gospel of John.
Stephen: …and it's tonight's word: The Gospel of John. Folks, when it comes to Obama's connection to Reverend Wright, people are judging the wrong sins. Some say that if Obama was at church when the Reverend made his statements he must share Wright's sentiments, but everyone knows that people don't pay attention in church. It's warm, you're thinking about the donuts, your mind wanders. Hell, while I was daydreaming the last 43 years my church silently sanctioned the sexual abuse of children! Who knew? (The kids and church officials) Now others think it's worse if Obama claims he wasn't at church when the Reverend made his statements and wasn't aware of Wright's views because that would mean Obama is, in the word of Pat Buchanan: …"a man so obtuse he ought not to be a security guard at Wal-Mart, let alone President." And Buchanan should know, he's just a few years away from being a greeter. But the real problem here is not whether the Senator attended church or whether he was aware of his Reverend's views, but how he handled and inflammatory spiritual leader during a Presidential campaign. If you want to do it right, ask John McCain. (Not now, he's napping) He also has a long standing and complicated relationship with controversial preachers: Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. Now I'm not comparing Falwell and Robertson to Jeremiah Wright, (Like comparing angry apples to anti-gay oranges) after all the Sunday after September 11th, Reverend Wright said this:
[Video: Reverend Wright: America's chickens are coming home to roost.]
Stephen: Chickens? Roost? That implies we had the terrorists cooped up in tiny cages for years. And we didn't do that until after 9/11. By comparison Falwell and Robertson delivered a touching sermon three days after September 11.
[Video: Jerry Falwell: I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminist and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, the people for the American way, all of them who tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say you helped this happen.
Pat Robertson: I totally concur…]
Stephen: It is even more inspiring than their sermon about two sets of footprints on the beach, the second set belongs to a gay dude sneaking up on you. Run Jesus! But like the out of control Reverend Wright, Falwell and Robertson were also condemned by a Presidential candidate. During John McCain's 2000 campaign he called them both quote: "agents of intolerance." But before this campaign he did what was necessary to win. (Hire Karl Rove?) Here's what he said about them this time.
[Video: John McCain: I believe that the quote Christian Right has a major role to play in the Republican Party…
Tim Russert: Do you believe that Jerry Falwell is still an agent of intolerance?
McCain: No I don't.]
Stephen: He embraced them, in fact in 2006 McCain gave the commencement address at Falwell's Liberty University. (#2,673 science department in America!) I'm telling you folks the man is such a maverick he is even independent from his own true feelings. McCain was able to cozy up to preachers who say the gays and Satanists are the same thing and it's a non issue. (Satan: "Not that there's anything wrong with that.") I think that Obama's mistake is that he did it backwards. If he had denounced Reverend Wright years ago then quietly embraced him for this election he could have spent the time he wasted on yesterday's speech focusing on the issues that really matter. (Like denying he's a Muslim)
And that's the Word.
Stephen: My guest tonight has written a book called Why Women Should Rule The World. Maybe women should start by opening their own damn jars.
Stephen: Hey, Stephen! Don't forget to stop thinking out loud. This is the Colbert Report!
Stephen: My guest Dee Dee Myers thinks women should rule the world. Let me guess, she's a woman?
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