The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 88

Doug Bailey

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jun 28, 2007 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Doug Bailey
Tonight Stephen welcomes Doug Bailey. Doug Bailey is trying to create a 3rd political party that will be more centrist. He invited the audience/viewers to check out his website and vote on whether Stephen should run for president.
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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (3)

      • Stephen: Just six days until my fourth of July back yard fireworks display, and just eight days until they're able to put it out. This is the Colbert Report!

      • Stephen: My guest Doug Bailey is here to talk about how he's forming a centrist party. I'll show him my centrist finger.

      • Stephen: ….which brings us to tonight's Word: Profiles In Timing. Now folks, don't get me wrong, I continue to believe that we will never lose in Iraq as long as we never leave Iraq. (So far, so good) But if Senator Lugar had to make a powerful statement like this, here's why this was the perfect time to do it. (It's Lobsterfest?) According to the Senator's spokesperson this speech was quote: "…months in the making, weeks in the writing." Which means Senator Lugar already though the war wasn't worth it back in April when he voted against a timetable for withdrawal. (April showers brought war powers) And he was still working on this anti-war speech in May when he voted to fund the war through December. So why did he wait to make the speech? (Speech impediment?) Folks he wanted to make sure it was perfect. When it comes to ending a war you don't want any dangling participles. (At his age, everything dangles) Anyway, Senator Lugar gave a great speech, he might have changed some votes if there had been anything to vote on, which there wasn't. (It's the thought that doesn't count) This folks is just the latest example of what I call courageous waiting. Anyone can see a crisis and do something about it, but it takes a special breed to recognize a problem, wait until nothing can be done and then express an opinion. (Silent but deadly) For instance George Tenant says when he was the head of the CIA he knew there was a lack of evidence for WMDs in Iraq but he found the strength to wait until he was out of office to express his doubts. (And accept his medal) And after administration officials like Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleezza Rice and Dick Cheney made statements like this:

        [Video: Dick Cheney: With respect to 9/11, of course, you've had the story that's been public out there, the Czechs alleged that Mohammad Atta, the lead attacker, met in Prague with a senior Iraqi intelligence official five months before the attack…]

        Stephen: After that President Bush showed the leadership to wait three years before saying this:

        [Video: President Bush: And nobody's ever suggested in this administration that Saddam Hussein ordered the attack.]

        Stephen: I think the lesson here is it's never too late to take a stand after it's too late. (Save the Dodo!) So I call upon our nation's leaders to speak out strongly on current events as long as it won't change the direction of the current. (Profiles in timing)

        And that's the Word.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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