The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 54

Dr. Andrew Weil

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Apr 24, 2007 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Dr. Andrew Weil
Tonight Stephen welcomes heath author Dr. Andrew Weil.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (1)

      • Stephen: …the answer is tonight's Word: Act Globally. For years the President has said there's no conclusive proof of global warming, the science just wasn't in. (Because they kicked it out) But thanks to the Hollywood enviro-scientific cabal and a certain failed Presidential candidate with way too much time on his hands, more and more Americans believe global warming is a cold, hard fact. (Fact actually hot & melting) Now the President doesn't pay attention to polls, (Especially North of South Pole) but he decided to beat these hippies at their own game, (Hackey-sack?) by solving global warming. The EPA recently announced that in 2005 U.S. greenhouse gas emissions increased by only 8/10ths of 1%, down from the average annual increase of 1 and 2/10ths%. That's a 4/10ths of 1% reduction in the increase of greenhouse gasses. Major progress! (Toward more real estate in Greenland) But still the Bush bashers won't stop bashing Bush. Like the Department of Energy which said in its own report that the slow growth of emissions can be attributed not to the administration but to quote: "…mainly to higher energy prices that suppressed demand…and weather related disruptions."

        And that's the administrations aggressive yet practical strategy. Higher energy prices? Thank you war in Iraq. Weather related disruptions? Does anyone remember the slow response to Hurricane Katrina? (Just Kanye West) In fact everything the President's done in the last six years has been part of his aggressive yet practical strategy to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. (Fear is a renewable resource) Why do you think he ok'd his domestic wiretapping program? So agents wouldn't have to waste gas driving around in surveillance vans. (Or waste paper on search warrants) And the five million RNC emails that disappeared during the Attorney General firings scandal will now never be printed out saving thousands of trees. (And Gonzales' job) Even pressuring government scientists not to speak out on the subject of global warming was merely a small scale effort to reduce human generated CO2 emissions. (By increasing omissions) The point is, the President isn't getting the credit he deserves, he may not be solving global warming entirely, but thanks to his policies all over the world America is getting a much chillier reception.

        And that's the Word.

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