The Colbert Report

Season 6 Episode 94

Elon Musk

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jul 28, 2010 on Comedy Central
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Elon Musk
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Tonight Stephen welcomes the co-founder of Tesla Motors, Elon Musk.
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    • TRIVIA (1)

      • The neckerchief slide 'worn' by Ronald Reagan in the photograph is the design used in the uniform for the Webelos, the highest rank in Cub Scouting, usually held by boys in third through fifth grades.

    • QUOTES (1)

      • Stephen: Thankfully there may be a way to cut the right wire and disarm the tax bomb, and it's the subject of tonight's Word: Ownership Society. Folks, Republicans are in a bit of a pickle here, because these tax cuts will add one trillion dollars to the federal deficit. Now back in the Bush administration when these tax cuts were originally passed, Vice President Cheney famously said: "Deficits don't matter." (Evidently deficits covered my Geneva Convention) But these days the GOP has changed its tune. (To theme from Shaft)

        [Video: Dr. Joe Heck: We can no longer the unsustainable deficits of this administration.
        Sen. John Thune: Reduce the deficit…
        Sen. Mike Crapo: Reduce the deficit….
        Rep. Jeb Hensarling: Reduce the deficit…
        Rep: Charles Djou We're spending too much money, deficits do matter.]

        Stephen: Yes! Deficits do matter. And it's as true today as the last time a Democrat was in office. (Back then we called them surpluses) In fact, Republicans have put their deficit nuts on the table by repeatedly filibustering benefits to 15 million unemployed Americans because that would add 33 billion to the deficit. And that would just be passing that bill onto future generations. (Of Chinese) So arguing to add a trillion dollars to the deficit to give these tax cuts to the wealthy makes them look hypocritical and heartless. (Instead of just hypocritical) Well here's why they're not: Economics know that tax cuts for wealthy Americans benefit everyone. Its even got a name ("Self-serving rationalization") it's called the trickle down theory. Here's how it works.

        Let's say I'm in the top 3% of wage earners, because I am, and this Bud Light Lime is a refreshing tax cut, with lime. (Tastes great, less filling) Now, the bigger my tax cut is, the more money I can pour into the system. [Takes drink] (Intaxicating!) Then, very soon, the benefits will work their way through the system and trickle down. And I mean like a racehorse. Then the other 97% of poorer Americans are welcome to have as much of that as they can collect. (Let them eat urinal cake) Now Stephen, you're saying, wouldn't giving your bottle to the unemployed stimulate the economy better? No. Just ask Republican Senator Orrin Hatch.

        [Audio clip: Sen. Orrin Hatch: You know, we should not be giving cash to people who basically are just going to blow it on drugs.]

        Stephen: Right you are sir! Those unemployed people should have to give urine samples and I think I know where they can get one. (With lime) The point is, trickle down is eventually good for everyone. (According to R. Kelly) But in the meantime, here's how we help the unemployed. Give the tax cuts to the wealthy on the condition that they use that money to purchase the unemployed. (Family packs available) Now I am not sure what we'd do with them because a lot of those people seem to sit around all day, maybe we'll, I don't know, race them around for sport. (Chasing mechanical sandwich) Or we could selectively breed them until they're small enough to fit in our Louis Vetton bags. (Poor-meranians) So Mr. Obama, you must not let the Bush tax cuts expire. Because this economy has to change and the best way to do that is to leave things exactly the way they are. (Ownership society)

        And that's the Word.

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