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The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 116

Frank Rich

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Sep 19, 2006 on Comedy Central
9.2
out of 10
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7 votes
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Frank Rich
AIRED:
Tonight Stephen welcomes New York Times columnist Frank Rich, author of The Greatest Story Ever Sold: The Decline and Fall of Truth from 9/11 to Katrina.

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    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (1)

      • Stephen: …and that brings us to tonight's Word: Tribalism. The CBS reality show Survivor is getting a lot of flak for dividing this seasons contestants into teams based on race. (Their "Race-based initiative") USA Today accused them of quote "exploiting ethnic clichés" and Entertainment Weekly asked quote "what on Earth is CBS thinking?" ("Any place else we could put a CSI?") Well folks there's an important lesson from this year's Survivor, (Its ratings are in the toilet) the ideal way to deal with our country's race problems if the make them fun race problems. Hey, who says racism can't be entertaining? (Stay tuned for "Mind of Mencia!") You know when life gives you racism, you make racist lemonade. (Sprite Remix?) That's why we should split this country up by race, we just assign everyone in America to a tribe, White, Black, Asian and Hispanic, that covers everybody. (Who came after the 15th century) And you know, it'll be easy, this country's already halfway there. (Or 80% there, if you're white) Oh, and bi-racial people, sorry, you have to pick a parent. (Stop stalling, Soledad O'Brien) Now once America has been split into racial tribes each tribe competes against the other, this will really light a flame under America's ass. (Located under Bible Belt) Wouldn't we all work a little harder if we knew that our failures reflected poorly on our race? (Looking at you, Lynndie England) Plus it will make racism much less hurtful. See, it's not that you weren't hired because of your skin color, you just lost a challenge. (Whites won immunity centuries ago) Of course some people are going to lose, but remember, our country was built on competition. (And slave labor) So, Americans of all races, let's make a deal. (A Gentleman's Agreement) I say let's take Survivor's lead and give this great land to the winning tribe, the amazing race. (The Amazing Race)

        And that's the Word.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • "Gentlemen's Agreement"

        The Gentlemen's Agreement was an informal political agreement between Japan and the United States which effectively banned immigration from Japan into the United States starting in 1907. The United States supported this, primarily out of racial discrimination toward the Japanese, and all Asians in general.

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