The Colbert Report

Season 6 Episode 154

Garry Trudeau

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Dec 06, 2010 on Comedy Central
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Garry Trudeau
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Tonight Stephen welcomes Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau.
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      • Stephen: And this ongoing willingness to bend to Republican demands brings us to tonight's Word: Unrequited Gov. Folks, I never thought I'd say this but I am worried about Barack Obama. From the moment he got into office he has had one thing and only one thing on his mind (Regretting he beat Hillary) winning over the GOP. Over and over he has tried hooking up with them. (Prez with benefits) I mean, first off, just take the stimulus plan. The Republicans immediately gave it the cold shoulder, so he sweetened the deal with 250 billion in tax cuts. (Plus, free shipping!) Now in exchange the Republicans gave Obama nothing, nada. Did that stop the President from reaching across the aisle? No, when healthcare was being crafted the Republicans said forget it. So Obama dropped the public option. (It had a pre-existing condition) Then to thank him the Republicans gave him nothing, zip, zilch, zero, jack squat ala mode. (Smothered in a f**k you sauce) Now we come to extending the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest 2%. Once again the President is open to compromise. There's only one problem.

        [Video: Pundit: The Republicans aren't in the mood to compromise.
        Nikki Haley: There is no compromise here…
        Anthony Weiner: The Republicans aren't going to say yes to anthing…]

        Stephen: Mr. President, face the facts: Republicans just aren't that into you. (Bunch of GOP-teases) After all sir, remember what Mitch McConnell said their top priority is.

        [Video: Mitch McConnell: Our top political priority over the next two years should be to deny President Obama a second term]

        Stephen: That's called playing hard to get. (Also hard to stomach) Now given that they are flatly stating that nothing you do will ever change their minds, I think it's time for you to realize that you've got to keep trying. You're so close to getting them to like you! (Lips say "No" but their eyes say "Hell, No!") So please Mr. President, do not give up. Give more! Repeal the estate tax, increase defense spending, privatize social security and who knows maybe someday the Republicans will love you. (Like the Democrats used to) Or maybe not. But isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have fought and won? (Unrequited gov)

        And that's the Word.

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