The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 20

George Packer

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Feb 09, 2006 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

George Packer
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes the author of The Assassins' Gate: America in Iraq, George Packer!

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  • The last show before a break.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from the winter Olympics to the Grammy Awards.

    Stephen starts off the show by mentioning he's got awards fever, and he loved the Grammy Awards, which was on last night. He then mentions Michael Crichton being awarded something for his book, State of Fear. Stephen then reads a passage from his own book.

    Stephen then decides to hand out an award called "Stephen's Balls" to dumb lobbyist.

    With the winter Olympics coming up, Stephen decides to mention it in tonight's edition of "The Word," which is "U.S.A! U.S.A!" Stephen goes on to give suggestions on the Olympics and then gets into an argument with the bullet points next to him on the screen.

    Back from commercial break, Stephen discusses Valentine's Day, all in a segment called "Stephen's Laws of Love." Stephen's laws come from observing the potentially successful relationships of celebrity couples.

    Back from commercial break, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, George Packer, author of The Assassins' Gate: America In Iraq. They discuss the war in Iraq and Mr. Packer's book about it.

    Back from the commercial break, Stephen shows an old music video of him when he was a part of a music group called Stephen and the Colberts. It's a video for his ex-love, Charlene.

    Tonight's episode was a great one, perfect for vacation time. Every segment was good, although the music video at the end was a bit ridiculous. The best part of the show was "Stephen's Laws of Love." Not only was the writing great, but when Stephen lost his composure, it made for another great moment. He was able to eventually compose himself like the professional that he is.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (1)

    • Stephen: ...which brings us to tonight's Word: U.S.A! U.S.A.! Yeah! Whooooo! We're gonna kick some ass. Have you seen some of the countries that signed up for this thing? [The Olympics] Look at that crowd, it's incredible they don't stand a... wait hold it, wait. Jim go back, go back a little bit... right there! Moldova? That isn't even a country, I think she's a supermodel, and we are gonna kick that ass, right down there. I liked it. I cannot wait to see that medal count. Every morning when I open the paper I go straight for it. (See ya, Sudoku) I don't give a damn which sports we win the medals in. As far as I'm concerned Ice Dancing is just as manly as Two Man Luge. But you know winning isn't everything it's just as important that we rub it in. Medal counts are a great quantifiable way to say: Yes, we're in an unpopular war, we're bitterly divided and we're embroiled in scandal, but if you get all up in our Bobsled grill we will bring the frozen solid sh*t hammer down. And I say the three tiered medal stand not humiliating enough for the losers. I believe the medal stand should be made out of the losers. That really gets the point across, and it's more inclusive that way.

      That's the true spirit of brotherly love. I should know I grew up with seven brothers. Even happy birthday came at a price of an unholy ass kicking. (You said "ass"!) So what bullet? (I'm telling mom!) Oh I'm telling mom! (Stop it!) Stop It! (In mean it! Stop!) I mean it! Stop it because I'm a crybaby and I might cry and run to mommy oh boo hoo hoo hoo! (I hate you!) No you don't you love me. You're just angry at me but you can use that anger to motivate you to grow bigger and stronger till one day you're so powerful that no one can mess with you. And you'll be number one, just like the USA. Say it with me everyone: U.S.A! U.S.A! (U.S.A! U.S.A!)

      And that, world, is the Word.

  • NOTES (0)


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