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The Colbert Report

Season 1 Episode 6

Greg Behrendt

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Oct 25, 2005 on Comedy Central
out of 10
User Rating
18 votes

By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

Greg Behrendt
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes author of "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy", Greg Behrendt!

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  • Stephen welcomes Greg Behrendt for not only an interview, but they take calls from viewers.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from a Ben Bernanke to bears.

    Stephen starts in with the news about Alan Greenspan stepping down from the Fed. President Bush has nominated Bernanke, so Stephen is excited because he's got so much money, his money makes its own money.

    The word for tonight was "Overrated", after Rosa Parks, who died this week. Stephen suggested that she was overrated because she was made famous for breaking a law.

    Up next is "Threat Down". Number 5 top threat is Walmart, which is introducing walk-in health clinics in stores in Florida.

    Number 4 was "Bears". Bears have been attacking doctors, who were keeping them to take out their organs for medical treatments.

    Number 3 is "Eight-Year-Olds." An Eight-Year-Old recently went on a hunt and killed a black bear.

    Number 2 is "Magic." David Copperfield wants to impregnate a woman on stage using magic.

    Number 1 is "Anti-Bacterial Soap." The soap has come under fire, as it's not a perfect soap to keep your hands clean.

    Returning from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, Greg Behrendt. The discussion was all about relationships and Greg's two books about relationships.

    Back from commercial, they decided to take calls from people who had a question about relationships. In the first call, Stephen answers the question, using Greg's catch phrase. The second and third calls, Greg tells the callers that they should move on, but Stephen suggests that they continue with the relationship. The fourth call was just a guy who wanted to compliment Stephen, and not ask any questions.

    Stephen ends the show by looking into what their morning show is up to tomorrow morning.

    Again, another good show. The phone segment was hilarious, very well done. Let's see more "threat down" segments, as those are really funny.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (5)

    • Colbert: I swallowed 20 condoms full of Truth and I'm about to smuggle them across the border.

    • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Overrated. Now don't get me wrong! Hear me out! Ms. Parks refusal to give up her seat on that Alabama bus was the first in a series of triumphs for the civil rights movement. (Parks did it first) And more importantly, it enriched our vocabulary by allowing us to call anyone who is the first person to do something the Rosa Parks of whatever it is that person did first. (Stay with me…) For instance, Michelle Wie is the Rosa Parks of adorable teenage pro female golfers. Now I know this isn't going to win me any popularity contests, but am I the only person who remembers that Rosa Parks got famous for breaking the rules? Now, you can disagree with any law you want, take your pick. (D.W.I.) I happen to think that Alabama bus law was terrible, and apparently Ms Parks agreed with me, I'll give credit for that. But here's where we part company, nobody's above the law. That's what we call anarchy. You start disobeying laws simply because they're unjust, pretty soon you got yourself a country full of Gandhis. (He drank his own urine) No thanks. Look, there were other options. How about renting a car? (Decline the insurance) If so many people were upset, why not start your own bus company? Let the free market do what it does best, bring justice to the disenfranchised. You know, I was talking about this to a friend of mine, Alan, and he's a black guy. I gave Alan my take on Rosa Parks and you should have heard the string of expletives he started yelling. Just as mad about this as I am. The point is, this is a nation of laws. When we start honoring outlaws, aren't we all in the back of America's bus? (Think about it) So tonight, let me be the first, the Rosa Parks if you will, of saying to those malcontents out there that the best way to change the system is to wait until it changes. And that's the Word.

    • Stephen Colbert: If there's one thing America wants and understands, it's more detailed information on the inner-most workings of the Federal Reserve Board. You put that on TV, those Laguna Beach kids would be out of a job.

    • Stephen Colbert (to viewers): Have some balls.

    • Stephen Colbert: If you're woman enough, you can make him not gay.

  • NOTES (0)