The Colbert Report

Season 1 Episode 29

Harry Smith

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Dec 12, 2005 on Comedy Central
out of 10
User Rating
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Episode Summary

Harry Smith
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes co-host of The Early Show, Harry Smith!

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  • Stephen looks at the war on Christmas and interviews Harry Smith.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from the war on Christmas to another American company cutting out health insurance.

    Stephen starts off with the "Campaign Against Humbuggery", and they've got their graphics and music this time. It seems people who are celebrating Christmas aren't celebrating it properly. Stephen offers a little history lesson on Christmas.

    Stephen moves on to the story about FORD cutting down the health insurance, which brings us into tonight's edition of "The Word", which is "Belly Achin'". Stephen can't believe people still expect their employer to provide health insurance.

    Back from commercial, Stephen introduces another "Un-American News" segment, which takes us around the world, looking at their news. Stephen looks at a few newspapers, and ends with a couple of silly news programs.

    Back from commercial, Stephen introduces tonight's guest, Harry Smith, who according to Stephen, may be an android. Their discussion was entirely about Harry's history as an anchor, or "tv guy", as they called it.

    Back from commercial, Stephen shows a ridiculous clip from The O'Reilly Factor, and claims Bill O'Reilly's people sodomized his kid's snowman. He moves on to his Inbox of mail. Stephen's first (and only) letter is about someone looking for religious-themed stamps. Stephen suggests making your own.

    Overall, another great show. The "Un-American News" segment didn't interest me a whole lot, and showing the Bill O'Reilly just bothered me. That clip just pissed me off at O'Reilly, what a moron!moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (2)

    • Stephen: …and it's tonight's Word: Belly Achin'. Where'd this idea come from that corporations have to provide for their workers? (The Depression?) Health care is great and everything, it just has nothing to do with your job. Last time I checked, Ford employees, you worked for a car company. (Until the robots take over) I wouldn't go to the hardware store to get bagels and I wouldn't go to the pet store to buy gas and I wouldn't go to my local Ford dealer to get heath care. (Or a car) Now, if you're the sort of person who absolutely can't live without health care, you should have worked for a health care provider. (Or been immortal) Now not everybody can do that, I understand, so my advice to everyone else is don't get sick. Now I don't know how to put that any simpler. If you do get sick, don't just go to the most expensive doctor, (The Western ones) what's wrong with herbs. Billions of Chinese can't be wrong. (Ask your doctor about monkey paw) Plus, there are literally hundred of cures they don't want you to know about. And hey, maybe getting sick is just part of God's plan. (Planned obsolescence) God's like a corporation, if we don't break down, God can't put new product on the market. He needs us to die. (Everything must go!) So, do what I did with my 1989 Ford Escort, drive your body into the ground. (Then abandon on freeway) Besides, in all this talk about your health, have you ever considered your company's health? It's a financial organism with the same needs you have. (Mergers=sex) It can get sick by being overtaxed, or burdened by employee needs. By not giving you health insurance, all your company is fighting off the infection that is you.

      And that's the Word.

    • Stephen Colbert: I can't prove it, but I can say it.

  • NOTES (1)


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