The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 18

James Woolsey

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Feb 07, 2006 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

James Woolsey
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes former CIA Director James Woolsey!

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (1)

    • Stephen: ...which brings us to tonight's Word: Kidding. Humor can be very subjective even in the same culture there are disagreements about what's funny. (Death to Shemp!) Between cultures the gulf widens. (One man's joke is another man's Jihad) So, to mend fences, I'd like to explain Western comedy to our fundamentalist Muslim brothers. (Fundamentalist Christian take notes too) [Stephen goes and stands in front of brick wall] Hey hey, how's everybody doing tonight? (Scared) Great, wow, what a great house. Hey any extremists here tonight? Just the guy in the front row with the angry stare wearing a trenchcoat with the curiously large waist? Okay.

      Comedy is often the result of rapid shifts in status between individuals. Like laughing at some rich big shot slipping on a banana peel. (See you in court, Chiquita!) Or, for instance, when I'm playing the dozens with my boys and I say "Yo momma so fat she got baptized at Sea World." (Damn, that's some cold dinner!) I'm not saying she's actually fat (She's got Type 1 Diabetes, fool!) that would be tragic, there's an obesity epidemic in this country. (It's glandular!) No, it's just a friendly game. I'm talking about something that is dear to him, (My momma!) I am undercutting its sanctity, (She's a Saint!) then inviting him to do the same to me. (Your mother's a whore) Uncool Man! (Sorry) Point is, in comedy someone often gets the short end of the stick. (Or schtick) It's also a way to talk about uncomfortable truths. When I joke that my wife complains when I leave the toilet seat up, it's because I really do leave the toilet seat up, and it really upsets her. (Am I right ladies?) It's actually become quite a source of tension between us. We're in counseling. (True = Funny)

      And these cartoons are just doing the same thing, they're expressing the uncomfortable truth about how a small group of violent extremists are reflecting poorly on the great religion founded by the prophet Mohammed. Blessings and peace be upon his name. (Insert joke at own risk) That's Western comedy. Of course we in the West have to understand that your own unique sense of humor as well. For instance the Iranian newspaper Hamshari has started a Holocaust cartoon contest. This is great for two reasons. One. It proves that you understand that G words are inherently funny, like guacamole. (And Genocide) And Two, it gets back at all those tall blond blue eyed Danish Jews (Both of them) You know folks, ultimately let's all remember that while the world may be a scary place the best antidote for fear is laughter. (What a riot) So take our jokes, our cartoons, (and my wife, please) for what they are meant to be. Lighthearted amusements that only point out that you wear towels on your head. Kidding! (Kidding)

      And that's the Word.

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