The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 18

James Woolsey

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Feb 07, 2006 on Comedy Central
out of 10
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Episode Summary

James Woolsey
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes former CIA Director James Woolsey!

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  • Stephen takes a shot at President Carter and New York state.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from the Arab world to James Woolsey.

    Stephen starts off the show by talking about how President Bush is asking for the "nerd control" to help out America.

    Moving on, Stephen refers to the Danish cartoon he made on last night's show. He then pulls out a new one, and then mentions how there was additional rioting in Pakistan. In Stephen's opinion, we have been punked somehow. This somehow transitions into tonight's edition of "The Word," which is "Kidding." Stephen tries to explain the comedy differences between the eastern and western civilizations. Stephen proceeds to do the remainder of his segment with a mic, as though he were at a comedy club.

    Back from commercial, Stephen mentions his hair style changes, and then moves on to a "Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger" segment. Zacarias Moussaoui gets a "Tip of the Hat" for being removed from a court four times, which Stephen says plants doubt in the jurors. President Carter gets a "Wag of the Finger" for his opinion that Bush's wiretapping is illegal. New York State gets a "Wag of the Finger" for likely allowing for no-fault divorces. And finally, a "Tip of the Hat" goes to Britney Spears for not strapping her child in a child seat. Stephen says we protect children too much.

    Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, James Woolsey. They talk about everything from the CIA to the need to find alternative fuel sources.

    Back from the commercial, Stephen ends the show by mentioning Western Union's recent end of the telegram.

    Tonight's episode was pretty average for the most part. The bit at the end was nice; I'm glad someone on TV payed attention to the news about Western Union.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (1)

    • Stephen: ...which brings us to tonight's Word: Kidding. Humor can be very subjective even in the same culture there are disagreements about what's funny. (Death to Shemp!) Between cultures the gulf widens. (One man's joke is another man's Jihad) So, to mend fences, I'd like to explain Western comedy to our fundamentalist Muslim brothers. (Fundamentalist Christian take notes too) [Stephen goes and stands in front of brick wall] Hey hey, how's everybody doing tonight? (Scared) Great, wow, what a great house. Hey any extremists here tonight? Just the guy in the front row with the angry stare wearing a trenchcoat with the curiously large waist? Okay.

      Comedy is often the result of rapid shifts in status between individuals. Like laughing at some rich big shot slipping on a banana peel. (See you in court, Chiquita!) Or, for instance, when I'm playing the dozens with my boys and I say "Yo momma so fat she got baptized at Sea World." (Damn, that's some cold dinner!) I'm not saying she's actually fat (She's got Type 1 Diabetes, fool!) that would be tragic, there's an obesity epidemic in this country. (It's glandular!) No, it's just a friendly game. I'm talking about something that is dear to him, (My momma!) I am undercutting its sanctity, (She's a Saint!) then inviting him to do the same to me. (Your mother's a whore) Uncool Man! (Sorry) Point is, in comedy someone often gets the short end of the stick. (Or schtick) It's also a way to talk about uncomfortable truths. When I joke that my wife complains when I leave the toilet seat up, it's because I really do leave the toilet seat up, and it really upsets her. (Am I right ladies?) It's actually become quite a source of tension between us. We're in counseling. (True = Funny)

      And these cartoons are just doing the same thing, they're expressing the uncomfortable truth about how a small group of violent extremists are reflecting poorly on the great religion founded by the prophet Mohammed. Blessings and peace be upon his name. (Insert joke at own risk) That's Western comedy. Of course we in the West have to understand that your own unique sense of humor as well. For instance the Iranian newspaper Hamshari has started a Holocaust cartoon contest. This is great for two reasons. One. It proves that you understand that G words are inherently funny, like guacamole. (And Genocide) And Two, it gets back at all those tall blond blue eyed Danish Jews (Both of them) You know folks, ultimately let's all remember that while the world may be a scary place the best antidote for fear is laughter. (What a riot) So take our jokes, our cartoons, (and my wife, please) for what they are meant to be. Lighthearted amusements that only point out that you wear towels on your head. Kidding! (Kidding)

      And that's the Word.

  • NOTES (0)


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