The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 64

Jann Wenner

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM May 10, 2007 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Jann Wenner
Tonight Stephen welcomes the founder and publisher of Rolling Stone magazine, Jann Wenner.

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (5)

    • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Illusion. If a magician looses his secrets he'll starve, he has no other skills. (See: David Blaine) But it's not only the performer who suffers. I still remember my 8th birthday party. My parents hired Presto the Magician clown, he was wonderful. Quick with a joke and even quicker with a sting of colored handkerchiefs. (Trivia: Had B.A. in art history) But then my friend Mikey Lipman started telling us how all of these tricks were done because his parents had given him a magic book for Hanukah. (Still couldn't turn Hanukah into Christmas) All of a sudden in my eyes Presto went from a miracle worker to a con man. I refused to be his assistant, the kids started taunting, the magician got rattled and long story short a rabbit was trampled. (Better than lifetime in hat) Everyone needs a sense of wonder folks, a sense of wonder and surprise. That's why Americans don't earn geography, it's so wonderful every time we discover that New Mexico is actually ours. Whenever somebody tries to reveal the secret of how anything is done we need to resist the impulse to understand the mystery. ("Raise your hand is you don't believe in evolution.")

      Take the Democrats in Congress. They're a real pack of Mikey Lipmans, constantly trying to force President Bush to reveal secrets. "Who was on the energy task force?" "Are we torturing people?" (Ask again & find out) "How did you make those U.S. Attorneys disappear?" (Along with Gonzales' memory) They're missing the point entirely. The fact is the most secretive administration in history is the Bush administration and that's what makes the last six years so magical. (Sawed U.S. in half) And now Congress is doing it again with what could be the President's most miraculous performance of all: pulling victory our of Iraq's hat. With their war funding demands the Dems are saying before they pay the magician they want to know how the trick's going to be done and how long it's going to take. You know what? The audience has a part to play a part to. They have to suspend their disbelief and want the trick to work. So I hope these Japanese magicians set a precedent with their lawsuit. Because those of us who believe in magic would like to see the Conjurer in Chief get his coins from Congress and pull off this trick. (Illusion)

      And that's the Word.

    • Stephen: I wish I had a nickel for every time I took a cab home because I was too drunk to drive, then couldn't remember where I parked the next day and wind up having to buy a new car. Actually, I wish I had fifty thousand dollars for every time I did that.

    • Stephen: I profile one of America's best cities. I'll give you a hint, it's Naperville, Illinois.

    • Stephen: This show is an acquired taste. If you don't like it, acquire some taste. This is the Colbert Report!

    • Stephen: Japanese magicians sue T.V. stations for revealing their secrets. It's the first time my Google search for "Asian Tricks" turned up a news story.

  • NOTES (0)


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