The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 15

Jed Babbin

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jan 31, 2007 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Jed Babbin
Tonight Stephen welcomes former undersecretary of defense and co-author of Showdown: Why China Wants War with the United States, Jed Babbin.
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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (1)

      • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Black Sheep. As in baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir and I'm pulling that wool over your eyes to further the homosexual agenda! ("We're here. We're sheared. Get used to it.") You see folks, the rainbow warriors out there are going to call this study another victory for their cause. Because if sheep do it, it must prove that being gay is natural, right? (Depends – do these sheep bikini wax?) Wrong! It just proves that being a sheep is unnatural. Face it, they're not in nature, they're domesticated animals and if Brokeback Mountain is any indication, shepards aren't exactly the best role model for these young impressionable lambs. ("I wish I could quilt you.") Besides, who funded this study? (LAMBDA?) Everyone already knows that sheep are gay, Hell we even serve them with mint jelly. But I don't blame nature, I blame permissive sheep culture. Everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go? Where's the masculine role model? (Little Boy Blue?) But even if sheep were natural, why suddenly is nature man's sexual role model? Look at the praying mantis, the female bites the males head off after sex. (She takes good head) So nature or nurture, it's wrong, and in protest of these homo-sheepsuals, tonight after the show I'm burning everything I own made that is wool. I don't want to wear anything that makes me seem gay, and it's a real shame I'm going to have to get rid of my favorite sweater.

        And that's the Word.

    • NOTES (1)

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