The Colbert Report

Season 6 Episode 108

Jeffrey Goldberg

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Aug 24, 2010 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Jeffrey Goldberg
Tonight Stephen welcomes journalist Jeffrey Goldberg.
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  • jeff

    The internet privacy during the opening spinning was a very well-crafted joke. Exactly my kind of humor and exactly the kind of thing that I expect from this show. Stephen Colbert had some great political commentary here and while it was definitely not one of the best shows I have seen, this is something that anyone can put on and enjoy and laugh at. Old people, young people, it is hard to not like Stephen Colbert's style of comedy, it just appeals to everyone. It is smart political satire, and yet at the same time he is able to speak to the masses.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (2)

    • Stephen: Tonight: I examine internet privacy and the bank records of Marcy Schneider of Fairland, Ohio. Plus: Iran has a dangerous new weapon and this time we didn't sell it to them. Then my guest Jeffrey Goldberg predicts conflict in the Middle East. Also, that it will be sandy there. Ladies, Tiger Woods' divorce is final which means he's dating less. This is the Colbert Report.

    • Stephen: The point is if you're not careful, your online past could destroy your offline future. But there's a solution and it's tonight's Word: Control-Self-Delete. Now some folks will say the easiest way to protect your privacy is to stay off social media, but even if you do other people can post pictures of you online. (Especially if you're a sleepy kitten) Luckily Google CEO Eric Schmidt has a way we can protect ourselves.

      [Video: Eric Schmidt: If you have something you don't want anyone to know, maybe you shouldn't be doing it in the first place.]

      Stephen: Are you listening young people? Just don't ever make a mistake. How hard is that? (Also, don't post pictures of how hard "it" is) The point is the internet is one giant resume and under special skills yours might list getting high, keg stands, flashing your boobs and multitasking. That's why Eric Schmidt further suggests: "Every young person one day will be entitled automatically to change his or her name on reaching adulthood." Exactly! From now on changing your name will be a right of passage like getting a drivers license at 16, drinking at 21 and completing rehab so you can get your license back at 23. (Kids, they screw up so fast)

      But changing your identity may not be enough because now Google offers a facial recognition feature which can identify you in unlabeled online photos. (As long as photos are of face) So you really need to surgically alter your appearance. It's easy, just ask Bruce Jenner. No Jimmy, I said Bruce Jenner, not his mother. But even this may not be enough. You see G Mail keeps track of everyone you've ever e-mailed, so you'll want to get rid of your old friends and family. (Tell them you were beta testing) And since Google also tracks all your searches and web history, you should change everything you've ever searched for on the internet. (Stephen + Colbert) Then once all that's done and you're a disfigured, nameless loner, you'll be the ideal job candidate. (See Lieberman) Of course there is one other answer. Google and Facebook could stop invasively data mining and selling our private lives to the highest bidder. But that would be asking them to change who they are. (Control-self-delete) And that's not fair.

      And that's the Word.

  • NOTES (0)


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