The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 27

Jeffrey Sachs

0
Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Mar 02, 2006 on Comedy Central
9.1
out of 10
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8 votes
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Episode Summary

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Jeffrey Sachs
AIRED:
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes the author of The End of Poverty: Economic Possibilities for Our Time, Jeffrey Sachs!

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • Stephen tackles the Oscars and poverty.

    8.5
    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from the Oscars to tonight's guest, Jeffrey Sachs.



    Stephen starts off the show by complaining about the press. It seems a poll in the newspaper says more Americans can name the judges on American Idol than we can name the rights afforded to us by the first Amendment.



    Stephen then moves on to the subject of Brokeback Mountain, a film which has made a lot of buzz, but Stephen doesn't seem to care about it, certainly unlike other people who have their own TV show. Stephen says he prefers westerns which aren't gay, but he rolls a clip which really makes you think.



    Moving on, Stephen points out a news clip about a dead cat which had bird flu, something very peculiar. He believes something is behind a series of bizarre things which have been going on with animals. He shows a few clips from other episodes, which brings us to tonight's edition of "The Word," which is "Homo Sapien Agenda." Stephen goes on to discuss how nature and humans impact one another and finally suggests that we need to set a better example.



    Back from commercial, Stephen introduces another edition of "The Da Colbert Code" which offers a peculiar mix of logic to give the reason to a problem. In tonight's edition, Stephen believes Mike Myers was responsible for Hurricane Katrina, Lyndon Johnson was responsible for killing President Kennedy, Rachael Weisz will win Best Supporting Actress, Reese Witherspoon will win Best Actress, George Clooney will win Best Supporting Actor, Phillip Seymore Hoffman will win Best Actor, and finally, Crash will win Best Picture.



    Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, Jeffrey Sachs. They have a very good discussion on poverty and how we in the U.S. would help end it in places like Africa.



    Back from commercial, Stephen ends the show by referencing his experience in playing Dungeons and Dragons, something which consumed a lot of his youth. He then places a few of the D&D dice on one of his book shelves.



    Tonight's episode was pretty good, but it didn't have any *great* moments like the previous two. My favorite segment was the "Da Colbert Code" bit, which I'd like to see appear more often. The ridiculous connections Stephen make are hilarious.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (2)

    • Stephen: Say I wanted to know who killed President Kennedy: John Fitzgerald Kennedy...F. Scott Fitzgerald...The Great Gatsby...The Great Escape...Escape From New York...The Big Apple...Apples and Oranges...A Clockwork Orange...Stanley Kubrick...directed Barry Lyndon...Lyndon Johnson, oh my God! It was all a plot by Lyndon Johnson to attain the presidency so he could escalate the involvement in the Vietnam War! [whispers] Makes so much sense. Oh, if this code fell into the wrong hands.

      Let's try a current mystery. Varying reports on the Hurricane Katrina debacle are pointing fingers in many directions. Who's really to blame for the slow response to the disaster? Let's think about it: Hurricane Katrina...Katrina and the Waves...Waves in the Oceans...Ocean's full of Fish, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish...Dr. Seuss...The Cat in the Hat...Mike Myers. Oh my God, it's Mike Myers' fault! No wonder he kept quiet when Kanye West started blaming President Bush!

      Okay, now let's use this for something important. Everyone wants to know who's gonna win the Oscars. Let's start with Best Supporting Actress: you get support from support groups like AA...AAA...XXX...X the Owl...Henrietta Pussycat...What's New, Pussycat...Tom Jones...Star Jones...Star Wars...WarGames...Winter Games...Wintergreen...Winter Garden...Beer Garden...Weisse Beer...Rachel Weisz will win Best Supporting Actress! Oh, she is so lovely.

      Let's move on here. Rachel Weisz was in The Mummy...Mummy and Daddy...Baby Daddy [Kevin Federline]...Baby Huey...Huey Long...Long Duk Dong...Ching Chong Ding Dong...King Kong...Nat King Cole...Old King Cole...Cat and the Fiddle...Cow jumped over the moon...Little dog laughed to see such sport...and the dish ran away with the Reese Witherspoon, who will run away with Best Actress!

      Reese Witherspoon was in Legally Blonde...Strawberry Blonde...Strawberry Shortcake...Let them eat cake...Pattycake, pattycake, baker's man, bake me a cake as fast as you can...roll it and pat it and mark it with B, put it in the oven for Baby and Me...Rosemary's Baby...Rosemary Clooney...George Clooney wins Best Supporting Actor!

      Clooney was in Ocean's Eleven...7-11...7-Up...Upton Sinclair...The Jungle...Jungle Boogie...Boogie Nights...starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, who wins Best Actor!

      And for Best Picture, Hoffman was in Mission Impossible 3...Mission Impossible 2...Mission Impossible 1, Mission to Mars...Mars Attacks!...Attack of the Killer Tomatoes...Tomato Juice...Orange Juice...OJ Simpson...Homer Simpson...Homer's Iliad...The Odyssey...2001: A Space Odyssey...Space Mountain...mountain, mountain, mountain, Something Something Mountain...Haa-yaa Mountain...nothing. Let's just say Crash. Haven't seen it, but hear it's pretty good. Hope that helps you in your office pools, and if they ask you how you knew, [whispers] it's our secret.

    • Stephen: ...and the answer is tonight's Word: Homo Sapien Agenda. We humans are always changing natures, but humans are the leaders of the natural world, nature looks to us as an example, the same way the international community looks to America. (Suspiciously?) And, just look at the bad example homo sapiens are setting. As for the homo part, homosexuals are adopting children now. Being gay already turns nature on its head. (Head) Having kids flips it again. The only reason I can imagine being gay (He imagines it a lot) is to have all the sex you want without ladies and their emotional outbursts. (And harassment suits) Best of all you don't have to worry about having kids, (Or worry they'll be gay) plus children are gay's natural enemies. ("Let's play smear the queer!")

      Now as for the sapiens part, it means wise, that's the knowledge part of humanity that's subverting nature. Look at stem cell research. Sure stem cells can be turning into anything (Can they be turned gay?) but really, that doesn't mean they should be turned into anything. There are certain obligations that come with being a pancreatic cell. (Producing trypsinogen=Good honest work) Once the stem cell fulfills those, they can go ahead and become skin tissue or cure Alzheimer's, whatever they want. ("I wanna be a dancer") But first, do what nature intended. We must return to a simpler time, a time when men and women were mothers and fathers, (or vice versa) when diseases swept unchecked throughout the population. (Like Scarlet Fever) We need to set an example for all lesser creation. Only then, will cats stop having sex with birds. (That's how the cat got it [Bird Flu] right?)

      And that's the Word.

  • NOTES (0)

  • ALLUSIONS (1)

    • Space Mountain

      In the "DaColbert Code" segment, the photo accompanying chain link 'Space Mountain' is of the version of the ride in Disneyland Paris.

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