The Colbert Report

Season 5 Episode 87

Jim Fouratt

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jun 25, 2009 on Comedy Central
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Jim Fouratt
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Tonight Stephen welcomes gay rights activist Jim Fouratt.
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  • QUOTES (2)

    • Stephen: Tonight: Obama campaigned against the Defense of Marriage Act, but now he backs it. I guess he swings both ways. Then: ABC turns their network over to President Obama. Great, now who's running MSNBC? And my guest Jim Fouratt is a leader of the gay pride movement. Well he's about to meet the leader of the gay shame movement. Hey yogurt! If you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera? This is the Colbert Report.

    • Stephen: Fortunately, I can explain the President's behavior, which brings us to tonight's Word: Stonewalling. Folks, this Sunday marks the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riot, which kicked off the gay rights movement. (I thought it was Three's Company) Before then there weren't "gay weddings" or "gay television shows" or "legal right to be gay without being imprisoned on the grounds of criminal insanity." (Less pride, more prejudice) In the 1960s gays were confirmed bachelors, (And friends with Elizabeth Taylor) that is until the early hours of June 28th, 1969 when the NYPD Morals Squad raided a bar on Christopher Street in New York, the Stonewall Inn, (Named for famous gay Confederate general) and the gay patrons resisted. (Lesbians put them up to it) You see, an angry mob gathered, chanting gay power and throwing coins, bricks and whatever they could get their hands on. (They threw Kathy Griffin?!) Long story short, the gays got what they wanted, which I assume is parades. So calm down gays, President Obama simple has his eye on the big picture.

      [Video: Howard Dean: I defend the President's choice not to move don't ask, don't tell to the front of the agenda. We've got a huge healthcare battle going on….
      Rachel Maddow: Common wisdom in Washington is that the Obama administration isn't really anti-gay, that they're actually going to do a ton of good stuff for gay rights, they're just going to do it later.]

      Stephen: Right. H's just putting it off for a while. In a word…stonewalling, which the American Heritage Dictionary defines as "To engage in delaying tactics; stall." You see, the President is too busy with the economy and healthcare and the wars to issue an executive order ending don't ask, don't tell. (Would require stroke of the pen) But remember, he is considering appointing the first openly gay man to run the Pentagon's museum. ("Don't ask, do sell keychains") And sure, maybe he doesn't support gay marriage, but Obama extended benefits to same sex partners of federal employees. Not health or retirement benefits, but gay partners are entitled to moving expenses. Nothing makes a group feel more welcome than giving them cash to get out of town. (Take the money & shun) So you see, he's giving you things, (Like he gave you his word) just not your rights. It's like he's your dad and you asked him for a puppy, but for some reason he can't get you one. (Some voters allergic) So instead, he buys you a dog house, a dog bowl and a dog leash, doesn't it feel like you have a dog? So this Sunday at the pride parade, try this cheer: We're here, we're queer, they'll get to us eventually. (Stonewall)

      And that's the Word.

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