The Colbert Report

Season 4 Episode 71

Jon Paskowitz

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jun 02, 2008 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Jon Paskowitz
Tonight Stephen welcomes professional surfer and co-producer of the movie Surf Wise, Jon Paskowitz.
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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (7)

      • Stephen Colbert: The burger is very popular with the hedgefund crowd because $175 is a small price to pay to literally crap gold. (about the $175 burger sprinkled with gold leaf)

      • Stephen Colbert: Your father was a successful doctor who decided that his children were not going to go to school.
        Jon Paskowitz: That is true.
        Stephen Colbert: You lived essentially on the beach.
        Jon Paskowitz: That is true.
        Stephen Colbert: In the water.
        Jon Paskowitz: That is true.
        Stephen Colbert: Are you Mowgli from The Jungle Book?

      • Stephen Colbert: Remember, money can't buy happiness but it can buy stuff that will make you happy.

      • Stephen Colbert: Every night, I pray for three same things: thicker hair, heav vision, and the destruction of Hollywood. Well, God must have been listening because this weekend Universal Studios went up in flames. Whoo! I prayed it!

      • Stephen: But as a member of the media there's one thing that really stuck out to me, and it's the subject of tonight's Word: Media Culpa. In his book McClellan takes a break from bashing the President to bash the Washington press corp. Saying they were quote "…complicit enablers." of the Iraq war and their primary focus was quote "…covering the campaign to sell the war, rather than aggressively questioning the rationale for war or pursuing the truth behind it." I have to give Scott credit. It takes balls to blame the press for swallowing the crap you personally shoveled them. It makes me very excited for his next book: Why Did You Buy My First Book? That's going to be a page turner. But he is wrong about the media, they were very skeptical before the invasion. Consider such hard hitting actually headlines such as: Saddam aims to give terrorists briefcase bio-bombs, and: All aboard: America's war train is leaving the station. And if you missed that train, you can catch the 5:10 to Iran. (Tickets valid until January 20, 2009) And I am not the only one defending the media, so is the media.

        [Video: Various Clips: Reporter: How would assess CNN's coverage during the run up to the invasion?
        Wolf Blitzer: I would say we did a solid job….
        Ed Henry: My colleagues at CNN and other places, people like Mike Allen, were asking Scott McClellan in fact some very tough questions…
        Charles Gibson: I think that the media did, uh, a pretty good job of focusing and asking the questions…]

        Stephen: That's right, they asked tough questions. Maybe not as tough as when Gibson asked Obama about not wearing a flag pin, but than again maybe the war wasn't as important. (War not a secret Muslim) Still, Scott McClellan has made a damaging accusation and the press has to push back hard. (Use momentum from rolling over) So, media, if you want to sell the American people a story that you did your job well in the lead up to the war, just use the same techniques that McClellan and the administration used to sell the war to you in the first place. Back then the administration cherry picked intelligence, (Cherry picker supplied by Haliburton) well, you just cherry pick all the reporters who got the story right. There were a couple of guys over at Knight-Ridder and uh…I think Cosmo has something on it. ("6 ways to turn you man into a WMD")

        Now during the war the administration said Iraq had weapons programs even after none were discovered. So you just say you did a good job and that the proof has been secretly moved to Syria. But, if you really want to sell your side of this story, you're going to need someone who can really spin this thing. You know who needs a job right now? Scott McClellan. And I know he's been kind of tough on you guys but you'll forgive him. After all, you've forgiven yourselves. (Media culpa)

        And that's the world.

      • Stephen: Nothing is more important to me than my family, my friends, and my solid gold, life-sized statues of my family and friends.

      • Stephen: (about Scott McClellan) It takes balls to blame the press for swallowing the crap you personally shoveled them!

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    Ep 155
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    Ep 154
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    Ep 152
    Thomas Friedman
    Ep 151
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    Ep 145
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