The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 28

Larry King

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Mar 01, 2007 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Larry King
Tonight Stephen welcomes the host of Larry King Live, Larry King

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (5)

      • Stephen: You are the first Jewish congressman from Tennessee, are you also the first Jew from Tennessee?
        Steve Cohen: No, there are lots of Jewish people in Tennessee.
        Stephen: I apologize.

      • Stephen: Congressman, are you a black woman?
        Steve Cohen: Obviously not.
        Stephen: Not obvious, because I don't see race.

      • Stephen: Jesus number one! Eat it Buddha, because you seem to have eaten everything else!

      • Stephen: Hey America, are you thinking what I'm thinking? You soon will be. This is the Colbert Report!

      • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Bury The Lead. John Gibson is right. (Of Mussolini) Avoiding the Anna Nicole Smith saga is news guy snobbery, just look who else is not reporting on it, Jim Lehrer, Gwen Eifel, Bill Moyers, whole PBS crowd. Although I bet you anything if Yo Yo Ma had 42 double-D breasts and just given birth to a love child they'd be all over it. (Best Ken Burns documentary ever) Folks the snob-enistas say this isn't news. John Gibson explains why it is.

        [Audio: John Gibson: Now, I submit to you that is a real, honest to God, drama.]

        Stephen: Exactly. News is drama. (Morning news is "dramedy") Now folks I don't understand why Gilmore Girls isn't making more headlines. If the Cooper scooper here wants the public pay more attention to his war reporting, he should make his stories more dramatic like: American Surge: Big breasted playmates behind enemy lines. (Put "rack" in "Iraq") At least Gibson understands a journalists' responsibility.

        [Audio: John Gibson: People want to hear about the Anna Nicole story, I'm happy to tell it."]

        Stephen: See, he's not just willing, he's happy to tell it. And not every journalist has the courage to say how happy they are to report on someone's death. (The bell tolls for glee) In fact, reporting this story at all takes courage. The courage to say: I am going to report the storie that everyone else is reporting and if that gets me ratings so be it, that's the price I'll have to have my advertisers pay. We have to nip this snobbery in the bud. Think about it. If we don't report on Anna Nicole Smith for twenty straight days what won't we report on next? (My guess is Darfur) Folks, are we not going to report on Britney Spears shaved head? With Anna gone our reporters must try harder than ever to hunt Britney Spears down like a rabbit in order to bring us the drama of a pop star losing her sanity from being hunted down like a rabbit. (Oops! We'll do it again) So, Anderson, come down off you're high warhorse and tell us what we want to know about. Or are you to good for that?

        [Video: Anderson Cooper: The five month old little girl named Dannilynn, who now is at the center of a legal mess that will likely go on for years, here's CNN's Brooke Anderson]

        Stephen: Welcome home from the war.

        And that's the Word.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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