The Colbert Report

Season 4 Episode 111

Laura D'Andrea Tyson

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Sep 02, 2008 on Comedy Central
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Laura D'Andrea Tyson
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Tonight Stephen welcomes the former director of the National Economic Council and economic advisor to Barack Obama, Laura D'Andrea Tyson.

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      • Stephen: Tonight: Does Sarah Palin have enough experience to get me to talk about Barack Obama's inexperience? Then: My Make McCain Exciting Challenge, it's easier than the make John McCain President challenge. Then I sit down with Laura D'Andrea Tyson, Barack Obama's economic advisor. That's right, I'm talking to an economist and it's not even sweeps. Shave and a haircut, nine bits! Inflation. This is the Colbert Report.

      • Stephen: I think, folks, that there is plenty of evidence that Governor Palin is more than ready to be number two, which brings us to tonight's Word: That's The Ticket. Okay, let's talk experience. First off, what is experience, really? Mike Huckabee said it best.

        [Video: Mike Huckabee: The experience is about what you have done, not what you know.]

        Stephen: That's right. So the only question is: How much of what she has done, has she done. (That we know of) It turns out a surprising amount.

        [Video: Cindy McCain: She is heavily experienced in what she has done.]

        Stephen: Exactly. Name anything Sarah Palin's done, she's done it. (Except being vetted) Plus she's got loads of foreign policy experience. Again, Cindy McCain on This Week.

        [Video: George Stephanopoulos: But she has no national security experience.
        Cindy McCain: Remember, Alaska is the closest part of our continent to Russia.]

        Stephen: Yes! No only is Alaska America's closest point to Russia, Alaska has Mount McKinley, which makes it America's closest point to space. That means she has space policy experience. (Space more populated that Wasilla, Alaska) Plus there are people out there excited about Sarah Palin who where never excited about John McCain. (Republicans) Focus On the Families James Dobson said in the primaries he would never vote for John McCain. (McCain said the same thing about MLK Day) But then, just yesterday folks, Dobson said this.

        [Video: James Dobson: This choice of Governor Palin, I tell you, that was one of the most exciting moments of the political season.]

        Stephen: And remember, this political season included Fred Thompson. But most importantly Palin also has executive experience.

        [Video: Michele Bachmann: She has more executive experience that both of them…
        Guy: She has executive experience…
        Guy #2: This is the first person out of the four with any executive experience…
        Mike Huckabee: She's had far more experience making decisions in two years as a Governor than if somebody had been in the United States Senate for 10 of 15 years…]

        Stephen: Yes! As a Governor, Palin has more executive experience than Senator Obama, Senator Biden and Senator McCain put together. (Worst three-way ever) You know, folks, come to think of it, Palin is more qualified to be President than John McCain. Don't you agree Senator?

        [Video: John McCain: She's had executive experience…]

        Stephen:Yes, I mean if what they are saying about her is true, the Republican Party has this McCain/Palin ticket upside down. [Palin/McCain] Oh, oh I like that. President Palin, that sounds right. John McCain would make a great Vice President, I mean, you need someone ready to take over on day one if anything should happen to President Palin. (Moose attack?) Then again, given how much Palin's Evangelical supporters dislike John McCain, he could drag down the ticket. (Because he believes in gravity) Plus, with all that executive experience I'm sure Governor Palin wouldn't do something rash like picking a running mate without executive experience who she only met once. No, Sarah Palin needs to choose someone with the kind of credibility and executive leadership John McCain just doesn't have. [Palin/Romney] That's the ticket.

        And that's the Word.

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