The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 88

Lee Silver

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jul 17, 2006 on Comedy Central
8.7
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Lee Silver
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Tonight Stephen welcomes Princeton molecular biologist and author of Challenge Nature: The Clash of Science and Spirituality at the New Frontiers of Life.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (2)

      • Stephen: (on President Bush accidentally saying the s-word on a satellite feed) The mainstream media seems to think we have a right to know what he said to Tony Blair. Well, we don't. If we needed to know, it would have been put in a press release. I've said it before: good reporting is putting press releases into your own words.

      • Stephen: …and it's tonight's Word: T & A/T*ts and Ass. This weekend is the 2006 Miss Universe Pageant, 86 countries, 172 lovely breasts one planet held in rapture. (Waiting for a nipple slip) We're on the verge of global conflict, but that doesn't mean we can't declare a temporary truce to recognize how smoking hot these ladies are. ("Extend" the "Olive Branch") Because folks, there's only one thing that truly unites mankind: The objectification of womankind. Pure girl on girl competition between women who represent everything that is beautiful about their counties, thus allowing us to forget the depressing parts. (Geopolitical beer goggles) Take for example Miss China. She may hail from a country where 100,000 baby girls vanish every year, and the girls who do grow up live in an oppressive dissident crushing regime, but watch her strut across that stage and you'll have your own uprising to put down. (Human rights self-abuse) Folks, Miss Universe is the rare event that can sooth even the most vicious enduring tensions, (Betty vs Veronica) it's a time when anyone, be they fundamentalist Muslim or fundamentalist Jew, can sit together at the table of peace and agree that these women should be ritually stoned. So, just for this week, let's stop worrying about the conflict between Israel and Lebanon, and focus instead on the competition between Miss Israel and Miss Lebanon. I think we can all agree, that's one battle where everyone's a winner. (The boobie prize)

        And that's the Word.

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