The Colbert Report

Season 1 Episode 2

Lesley Stahl

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Oct 18, 2005 on Comedy Central
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Lesley Stahl
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes 60 Minutes correspondent, Lesley Stahl!

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  • Just didn't measure up to the first episode, but that's not surprising.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from a prom to the monkeys using tools.

    Stephen starts off with news that Ted Koppel is being pulled and is being replaced by three anchors. Stephen takes it as this is a response to Stephen's awesome show, in that they're surrendering. Stephen then profiles the people who are replacing Koppel.

    Tonight's word is Bacchanalia. Stephen goes off on a rant discussing rich people, and how great they are for the country. A school has cancelled prom because it's turned into a show about who has how much money.

    Since there is so much news out there, Stephen introduces a segment called "All You Need To Know", where he would introduce a news story, and tell you just what YOU would need to know from that. News topics included Michael Chertoff, McDonalds, Denmark's new prince is born, and the PowerBall lottery.

    Back from commercial, Stephen introduces Leslie Stahl, from 60 Minutes. The interview centered around her time at 60 Minutes, the current scandal regarding the CIA Valerie Plane leak, and her reporting of the Watergate scandal.

    Back from commercial, Stephen discusses congressional districts in a segment called "Better Know Your District". Stephen offered a complete profile of the first district of Georgia. Stephen actually went down there to interview a Congressman Kingston there.

    The show ends with Stephen talking about James Brady, which Stephen took shots at for trying to take away people's guns so they don't shoot someone. Well, Stephen brought out a fax he allegedly received from James Brady, threatening him. Since James Brady doesn't own a gun, Stephen claims victory because he would have to forfeit.

    While not as good as the first episode, the second episode did a good job at making me laugh. Stephen's take on the fact that Ted Koppel is being replaced by three anchors was hilarious. During the interview with Leslie Stahl, you got to see and hear Stephen laugh, which you really never got to see happen on The Daily Show. It was impossible for the second episode to compare to the first. Everything went so well in the first. The main change I noticed, aside from the general content of the show, was the lighting in the interview area. It's much better, you could see more of the area.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

  • QUOTES (2)

    • Stephen: Put some pants on, America. The Truth is knocking at the door.

    • Stephen: …which leads us to tonight's Word: Bacchanalia.: It means a drunken party, named after Bacchus the Roman God of body shots. (Party) Seems that a Catholic school on Long Island, Kellenberg Memorial High, named in memory of St. Kellenberg, patron saint of buzz kills apparently, has a problem with proms. (Prom-blems) The party houses in the Hamptons, the liquor lubricated limos, the booze cruises, all the time honored venues for vomiting. (Your mom's car) So the schools principal, Brother Kenneth M. Hoagland, cancelled this year's events saying: "Kellenberg is willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy." Bravo. (Clap clap clap) Or so I thought, until I read Hoagland's real reason for canceling: "It's not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround the event…it is rather the flaunting of influence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake – in a word, financial decadence." First of all, "financial decadence?" That's two words. (Count 'em!) What is this teaching our children, that affluence is not supposed to be flaunted? Do you know what would happen to our economy if the rich stopped acting rich? (Bad stuff)

      America has a simple deal with the wealthy: we cut their taxes, and in return they inspire us with their gloriously macked out cribs, golden toilets, and young, taught trophy wives. (Macked-out cribs, golden toilets, tear me off a piece of that) It's not a new concept either, all the great civilizations encouraged ostentatious…ostentation. (It's a word) What were the Pyramids or the Taj Majal after all but rich people playing "Pimp my Afterlife?" (I'd watch that) Yeah, I know that this is a Catholic school and Jesus said "It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven." (Matthew 19:24) But, may I remind Brother Hoagland, our nation is rich enough to buy some really huge needles. With eyes you could drive a limo full of drunk prom kids through. (Designated camel)

      But I'll tell you what's really going on here folks. This prom is just another victim of the post-Katrina PC Police. (P.K.P.C.) I get it, there are poor people who have nothing. I guess we're not supposed to enjoy the fruits of our labor then, I guess seventeen year olds aren't supposed to chug Christal standing in the sun roof of a Stretch Hummer. (How I roll) So remember kids, they may take away your prom, the one event that was your excuse to ask Suzy to go all the way down in the cabin of the party boat out on Lake Ronkonkoma, (She was so ready) but never let them take away your champagne dreams and caviar wishes. (Don't let the bastards get you down)

      And that's the Word.

  • NOTES (1)