The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 11

Lou Dobbs

0
Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jan 24, 2007 on Comedy Central
9.6
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Lou Dobbs
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Tonight Stephen welcomes the host of Lou Dobbs Tonight, Lou Dobbs.

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      • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Great News. Now normally I'm thrilled to see Americans turn their backs on the news, (Anderson Cooper 180) but nothing hurts me more than seeing innocent media conglomerates like Rupert Murdoch's NewsCorp loose money. (Now merely making billions) The great news is that there is a solution to these news outfits financial woes, ("Van Susteren Gone Wild") all you gotta do is fire all the journalists, we're already off to a good start. Last week Time Incorporated laid off nearly 300 employees at some of their most popular publications, People, Sports Illustrated, Fortune, one can only imagine what's in store for Iguana Fancy. And you know folks, in recent months there have been deep cuts at the New York Times, the Philadelphia Inquirer, the Los Angeles Times and Dateline NBC. (Stone Phillips now "Live from parents' basement") Now there has been token resistance. The editor of the Los Angles Times publicly protested the layoff. (Newsflash! He was fired) But you know, the writings on the wall. (For a good time call Robert Novak) These layoffs will continue and there's silver lining to this pot of gold. By firing seasoned new professionals it's putting a end to myth of expertise.

        While our appetite for news is still growing, (Soon will pass appetite for queso dip) the free market has shown you no longer need a staff of credible, experienced journalists. Now all you need is a camera phone and a Live Journal. (And proximity to Britney Spears) Give you an example. During yesterday's Threatdown I reported on Insightmag.com who reportedly reported the Clinton camp had a report that Barack Obama spent his childhood at a radical Muslim mishpu, or whatever they call those crazy schools. (Islanm is a great and true religion) Turns out only parts of this story were true. (Obama did have a childhood) Now, in the old media an overpaid staff of fact checking dinosaurs would have ignored this story, but new media pioneers like John Gibson knew this story was too important to corroborate before reporting on the report. If you stop to check the factual basis of every last 50 point headline you're just going to get scooped by the guy who runs with an even bigger font. (Judge not lest ye be Drudged) Then he gets quoted, and that quote gets quoted, the story hits cable news and three months later, you know what, the first guy gets a book deal or blogs a retraction. Doesn't matter. What matters is he's getting attention. (And a job a FoxNews)

        Last night I reported that John Edwards has a one night stand with Mutada Al-Sadr, siteing and unnamed source. Well tonight I'm proud to reveal that source, my brand new blog: integreityjustice.com. Our reputation for integrity justice is right there in the name. And let me tell you we don't have one trained journalist on the staff but we still need content. So nation, if you have a substantive new tip that deserves investigation, take it somewhere else. But if you have heard a rumor that, I don't know, Hillary Clinton is having an affair with some unlikely person, [Bill Clinton] go to integretyjustice.com and send us a tip. (www.integrityjustice.com) And if you're in new media and you see something on my site that sounds good, don't hesitate. Post it on your own blog and then I'll report your story as corroborating my story on my TV show. Yeah, they get it. Folks, it's called synergy, (Or Wikipedia) because the real great news is (Great news) media has gone from an old boys club to an echo chamber. If you want people's attention, you don't need to be right, you just need to shout.

        And that's the Word.

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