The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 121

Lowell Bergman

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Sep 27, 2006 on Comedy Central
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Episode Summary

Lowell Bergman
Tonight Stephen welcomes Pulitzer Prize winning investigative journalist and the Reva and David Logan Distinguished Professor at UC Berkeley's Graduate School of Journalism, Lowell Bergman.
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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (1)

      • Stephen: So let's get right to it with tonight's Word: …Damnit! I'm sorry, I forgot tonight's Word. I just had it, it's a big story too, it's been going on for a long time, for years, it's uhhh…it's in there someplace. Hey now, you're a rock star…no, no, no I can remember the lyrics to that stupid song but I can't remember tonight's Word! It will come back to me. In the meantime, you see this Clinton thing on Fox? Oh he is back, oh yeah he really stuck his nose out and Fox News journalist Chris Wallace impartially chopped it off. Jimmy roll that tape, do we have that?

        [Video: Chris Wallace: Why didn't you do more to but Bin Laden and Al Qaeda out of business when you were President?
        Bill Clinton: At least I tried. That's the difference between me and some, including all of the right wingers who are attacking me now. They ridicule me for trying, they had eight months to try, they did not try. I tried.]

        Stephen: Wow! Talk about an over reaction! Chris Wallace just asked him a perfectly legitimate question, (Depends on what definition of "Legitimate" is) he just basically asked why did you let those 3,000 people in the World Trade Center die and Clinton freaks out! (Burst his Bubba) Clinton even had the nerve to question why Wallace never asked the Bush administration the same thing. Well there's an excellent reason, (You don't criticize your boss) to suggest that Bush didn't do enough to prevent 9/11 is patently offensive. Offensive! Is that tonight's Word? No that's not it. It's something shorter, something like uh, it's a four letter word.

        Maybe it's in news over here. No it's not in here but hey did your see the cover today's New York Post? Fantastic! Condi and Hillary are at it again! Better get them a saucer of milk. Meow. Must be that time of the electoral cycle. (Pre Mid-Term syndrome) You see Bill Clinton says he left a comprehensive anti-terror strategy for the Bush administration but Condi here says he lied. And we know she's objective because she's neither George Bush nor Bill Clinton. (No Colin Powell either) Now of course Hillary defended Bill but she's not objective, they're married! (To their own ambition) Boy, how much would you pay to see these two go at it? [Makes cat fighting noises] Be a lot more exciting than those intelligence leaks.

        Leaks! Is that the Word? Something like that. I leak, a leak, alack, I lack…nothing. Still, great to have Bill in the mix again, it puts conservative back on the offensive. Now they can get back to what they do best! (Fear gay people) Pointing out that everything wrong with this country is Bill Clinton's fault. Like the budget deficit. Sure Clinton left a 230 billion dollar surplus but he knew Republicans couldn't resist blowing it. Tax cuts are instinctive for them! It's like putting a hamburger on a fishing line to lure a hobo into…I don't know, a hobo trap. Hobo Trap! No, that's not the word, but that would be a good Word, Hobo Trap, I'm gonna do that tomorrow. Those guys have had a free ride on our rail system for too long. Hey, you know what else is Clinton's fault? The Abramoff scandal; those Congressmen wouldn't have had to take bribes from Indian casinos if…he hadn't had sex with that intern. I'm working on it! (So was she) What was the Word, it used to be on TV all the time, was a horrible situation, went on for years longer than expected. (According to Jim?)

        Well, if it was really important I'd remember it. Anyway, if Bill Clinton doesn't want to get blamed for stuff he ought to stay out of the public eye. Of course with his wife getting ready to run for President that's not going to be easy for him, he's really between a rock and hard place. Iraq! That's it! Tonight's Word is Iraq! With this dramatic story and all these shiny pictures I totally forgot about that war over there. Which by the way is Bill Clinton's fault too, if he'd just invaded back in 1993 we'd be almost out of there by now.

        And that's the Word.

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