The Colbert Report

Season 3 Episode 30

Mark Frauenfelder

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Mar 06, 2007 on Comedy Central
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EDIT
Mark Frauenfelder
AIRED:
Tonight Stephen welcomes the editor for Make: Technology on Your Time, Mark Frauenfelder
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      • Stephen: …and it brings us to tonight's Word: WWJD. What Would Jesus Dispense? This battle's been a long time coming folks. All over the country confrontations have erupted because between patients and health care providers. (Not to be confused with faith healers) In the past couple of years pharmacists at major drug store chains have refused to dispense morning after pills, doctors at fertility clinics in California refuse to artificially inseminate gay women, in fact the New England Journal of Medicine recently reported that many physicians don't feel they need to tell patients about legal medical procedures that they don't morally agree with. ("Don't tell, no Hell" policy) But this latest case is a real breakthrough. It's not Christian medical professionals refusing to provide treatment they don't approve of, it's Christian medical professionals refusing to provide treatment to people they don't approve of. (Sinners in the hand of an angry doc) Jimmy, put the baby back up. Sorry folks, when you look like that, what Christian physician in good conscience would treat you?

        Now the KGET news team are make it seem like Dr. Merrill are forcing religion down peoples throats. (Say, Ahhmen) But I'm sorry, they're only saying that because of the Hippocratic Oath. They're saying that doctors have a moral obligation to treat the sick, a very Christian sentiment. Or is it? Take a look at how that oath begins: "I swear by Apollo, Aesculapius, Hygieia, and Panacea, and I take to witness all the gods, the goddesses, to keep according to my ability and my judgement , the following oath." Sorry folks, Apollo's not in the Bible. (He's in Rocky) But you know what is in the Bible? "You shall not make any cuts in you body…nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:28" No tattoos! God said that to some guy named Leviticus as recently as 1928! So sorry KGET news team, but the sin here is with the mother, not the doctor! (Immaculate prescription) No, the doctor is just asking What Would Jesus Dispense. (John 3:16 "For God so tough-loved the world…") Remember, Jesus said "Suffer the little children to come unto me." Dr. Merrill's halfway there, he's got the children suffering.

        And that's the Word.

      • Stephen: We have barely recovered from the original Y2K. If you don't remember seven years ago at the stroke of midnight planes fell from the sky, the banking system collapsed and power grids caught fire from coast to coast. Or so I assume. I was locked in my underground shelter cleaning my zombie rifle.

      • Stephen: My guest, Mark Frauenfelder, edits a magazine about homemade technology. Big deal! This whole show runs on potato power.

      • Stephen: For best results, apply this program four times daily. This is the Colbert Report!

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