The Colbert Report

Season 1 Episode 25

Maureen Dowd

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Dec 05, 2005 on Comedy Central
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Maureen Dowd
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes the author of Are Men Necessary?, Maureen Dowd!

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  • Stephen looks at the war on Christmas and talks to Maureen Dowd.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from the Kennedy Center Awards to the war on Christmas.

    Stephen starts off the show by talking about his sore neck, which he originally injured hanging garland.

    Stephen transitions into the Kennedy Center Honors, which Stephen isn't a fan of.

    After mentioning his gripes, Stephen transitions into Christmas gifts, and the War on Christmas, a book by FOX News' John Gibson. This brings us to tonight's edition of "The Word" which is "XMas". Stephen thinks the war on Christmas is just a further example of the war on Christianity.

    Back from commercial, Stephen backtracks and makes a correction regarding a photo they put up. Stephen calls over Bobby, the stage manager, and has him apologize for the mistake. Too many more mistakes, and he'll be fired.

    Stephen moves on to the news that a city in Tennessee is opening the first legal liquor store. This brings Stephen into another "This Week in History" segment. News topics included the Depression and the end of Prohibition.

    Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest, Maureen Dowd. They discuss Maureen's book, and Stephen gets down to the question: are men necessary, and in Maureen's opinion, they are.

    Back from commercial, Stephen ends the show by introducing the Colbert Nation's citizen award. The award goes to a man who broke out of prison using bed sheets.

    It was another very good episode. The writing was solid as usual, and Stephen did a good job with most of the show. The only disappointment was tonight's choice in guest, Maureen Dowd. I personally can't stand her, and wish they would have found someone else.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (3)

    • Stephen: Get ready to make a difference... by watching TV.

    • Stephen: …in the form of tonight's Word: Xmas. It's America's way of saying have a merry anything but Christmas. I went to the drugstore last night (Returning Cialis—four hours?!) I looked around and I found these cards. "Happy Holidays," "Seasons Greeting," "Blessing of the Yule Tide." Evidently the storm troopers of diversity think that there's a nicer way to say Merry Christmas. Sorry Reich Marshall Tolerance, I happen to think that saying Merry Christmas is pretty nice already, and for the record, wishing a non Christian Merry Christmas isn't excluding them, it's including them in our celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, the only Son of God. It's no different that asking a foreign exchange student to a Fourth of July barbeque. (Have a wiener, Ingrid)

      Too many people forget what Christmas is all about. (Except Linus) Everything we do this season should in some way relate to Jesus. Decorating trees, writing letter to an elf, and kissing under a sprig of mistletoe. (It's for Jesus Charlene!) By the way, it should be a real tree, a Douglas Fir, none of this white pine business. The needle must hurt, or it doesn't count. (No pain, dear – No Reindeer) Now sure, you can decorate it with popcorn on a string, but no cranberries. It's a garland, not a g*ddamn granola bar. (The bleeped word was God) And, put a star on top, not an angel. What's an angel doing up there? Talking to the shepherds? Then you need shepherds on the tree and sheep obviously and then it's anarchy. All those people belong in the Nativity scene and it's called a Nativity scene but the way, not a crèche. (Made up word)

      This war on Christmas is just part of a large war on Christianity, Christians in the United States are a persecuted minority, (All 80% of them) a minority under siege by the powers that be. (Except for the President, Congress, and State Legislatures) If not this season where else where will we defend Christianity? (Darfur?) Well, I say the best defense is a good offense. (Blitzen-kreig) So this Xmas (Xmas) let's get rid if the "X" (Mas) and bring back the Jesus. (JesusMas) Because, if there's one thing Jesus cared about, it's semantics.

      And that's the Word.

    • Stephen: Remember, children are the future... gamblers.

  • NOTES (0)


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