The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 41

Michael Brown

Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Mar 28, 2006 on Comedy Central
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Michael Brown
TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes former FEMA director, Michael Brown!

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  • Russ Lieber drops by for another debate.

    The show opens with a teaser of content from the show, which involves everything from the war on Easter to Russ Lieber.

    Stephen starts off tonight's show by announcing he's going to be a father. In just a few days, a zoo will be naming a baby eagle after Stephen, and he's ecstatic about it. They've even given permission to choose which eagle will be named after him. On-air, Stephen chooses one of eggs towards the end of the line.

    Moving on, Stephen turns his attention to St. Paul, Minnesota, where someone asked an employee to remove mentions of Easter from the place she works. Stephen introduces a new segment called "Easter: Under Attack," which features Jesus shooting at someone shooting at him. This war on Easter brings us to tonight's edition of "The Word," which is "Marketing." Stephen says that attacking Easter is attacking the symbols of Christianity. Unlike Christmas, the symbols under attack are the things we buy, which is in effect an attack on business, the American religion.

    Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes radio talk show, Russ Lieber for a debate on school vouchers and gay adoption. It's the traditional silly kind of debate we saw in a previous episode, but it also featured Russ Lieber having to take back some of his words because Stephen challenged him on some things he had said.

    Back from commercial, Stephen welcomes tonight's guest Michael Brown. Because of Michael Brown's job as the director of FEMA, their entire discussion is about Hurricane Katrina and the response to it.

    Tonight's show was a very good one. During the debate and the interview, there were a few awkward moments as usual, but overall, they were very funny. My favorite part of the show was when Stephen showed the graphics which introduced the "Easter: Under Attack" segment. Not only was the video/graphics package hilarious, but the audience and Stephen seemed to get a kick out of it.moreless
Michael Brown (II)

Michael Brown (II)


Guest Star

David Cross

David Cross

Russ Lieber (uncredited)

Guest Star

Eric Drysdale

Eric Drysdale

Bobby (uncredited)

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

  • QUOTES (4)

    • Russ Lieber: The most attractive people are quadriplegic gay men in wheelchairs holding someone else's baby.

    • Stephen: …which brings us to tonight's Word: Marketing. Easter is the holiest of Christian holidays, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus after His crucifixion at the hands of you know who. (Al Franken) It doesn't take a Biblical scholar to see how Jesus is related to things like colored eggs, (Dyed for us) but bunnies and eggs are under attack. Unlike Santa and his elves, they can't fight for themselves. (No opposable thumbs) This is particularly dangerous, because if we lose public displays of these holy symbols nestled in their pink plastic grass, we might loose Easter. You see, people can't find Easter on a calendar. (Still too drunk from Mardi Gras) Christmas is easy, Christmas is always the same date, (Six days before "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve") but Easter is a movable feast.

      Now my audience here all know that Easter the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Vernal Equinox, (Consult your local druid) but all most Americans know is that Easter comes about a month after the first appearance of pastel jellybeans, crème eggs, and marshmallow peeps. (The Diabetic Trinity) If we take away those clues, not only will we be stumbling through the calendar wondering which day to wear our Easter bonnet, (With all the frills upon it) nobody will be able to make money off of this holiday. (Except Mel Gibson) Let's be honest, we haven't done such a great job marketing Easter. Christmas is different, we use Christmas symbols like Santa and the elves to sell presents, but on Easter, the symbols themselves are the presents. They're all we have to buy. By attacking these symbols, the secular stormtroopers aren't just attacking Christianity, they're attacking business. (America's religion) After a long, long hard winter, our nation's retailers depend on these springtime Easter sales to bring to their profits the promise of this holy day. (They will rise again)

      And that is the Word.

    • Michael Brown: Horses' asses are a bit of a handful. That got me ready for a career in Washington.

    • Steven: The world is dirty, and I'm the lemon-scented wet-nap... This is The Colbert Report.

  • NOTES (0)


    • Colbert: Its the most savage attack on rabbits since Watership Down.

      This is a reference to the novel Watership Down by Richard Adams, which is the story of a tribe of rabbits looking for a new home.

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