The Colbert Report

Season 2 Episode 96

Ned Lamont

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Aired Weekdays 11:30 PM Jul 31, 2006 on Comedy Central
8.9
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Ned Lamont
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Tonght, Democratic hopeful for Senate in Connecticut, Ned Lamont.

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    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (1)

      • Stephen: And it can, thanks to tonight's Word: Wikiality. Now folks, I'm no fan of reality, (It has a liberal bias) and I'm no fan of encyclopedias. (Just fat-ass dictionaries) I've said it before, who is Britannica to tell me George Washington had slaves. If I want to say he didn't that's my right, and now thank to Wikipedia, it's also a fact. (Wikipedia can tell a lie) We should apply these principals to all information. All we need to do is convince a majority of people that some factoid is true. For instance, uh, I don't know, that Africa has more elephants today than it did ten years ago. (Babar getting busy) Now I don't know if that's actually true (It isn't) but if it was true boy that would be a real blow to the environmentalists. (An Inconvenient Tusk) As usual folks the Bush Administration is on the cutting edge of information management. While they have admitted that Saddam did not possess weapons of mass destruction, they've also insinuated that he did possess weapons of mass destruction. (Have no yellowcake and eat it too) Insinuations that have been repeated over and over again on cable news for the past three and a half years, (24,000 hour news cycle) and now the result is 18 months ago only 36% of American believed it, but 50% of Americans believe is now. Man, than numbers growing almost as fast as the population of African elephants. Which is exploding by the way, I heard that somewhere. (Hey, so did I…) Now what we're doing is bringing Democracy to knowledge, (Definitions will greet us as liberators) now the blame ignorance first crowd is gonna say something is either true or it isn't and it doesn't matter how many people agree. But if you had taken a class in astronomy before Galileo and you said the Earth revolved went the sun, you would have been flunked. (Current policy at Bob Jones University) See if you go against what a majority of people perceive to be reality, you're the one who's crazy! (Crazy like Fox News) Nation, it's time we used the powers of our numbers for a real internet revolution, (The revolution will not be verified) we're going to stampede across the web like that giant horde of elephants in Africa. In fact, that's where we can start. Find the page on elephants on Wikipedia and create an entry that says the number of elephants has tripled in the last six months. (Explain that Al Gore!) It's the least we can do to save this noble beast. Together, we can create a reality that we can all agree on. The reality we just agreed on. (Wikiality)

        And that's the Word

    • NOTES (2)

      • After Colbert's statement, the Colbert Report section at Wikipedia became heavily edited to the point that in less than ten minutes, the site was protected from vandalism. In fact, at one point, the statement on Wikipedia appeared three times in the article.

      • In less than a minute after the episode aired the part about wikipedia, the wikipedia article about The Colbert Report had already been edited to include information about the show talking about wikipedia.

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Pavlov's Experiments

        Stephen: (ringing a bell) By now you should be trained to salivate whenever you hear... This is The Colbert Report!
        Ivan Pavlov was a Russian physiologist who carried out experiments to determine whether he could train a subject (his dog) to salivate in response to auditory stimuli. It is widely held that Pavlov had used a bell for the experiment, although this is unconfirmed.

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